So, this one Saturday pre chemo I woke up feeling like a champ! I had slept a full ten hours…..without interruption! Holy Crap! I didn’t even feel like I had cancer! I had energy! I wanted to go kick some ass somewhere! I did a little dance. I told everybody in the house that I was ready to go. I sat down to breakfast 35 minutes later, smiling ear to ear. And then, without warning, it all started melting away. I felt the slow spread of heat and fatigue wash over me. I started getting short of breath and achy. I couldn’t speak in full sentences without taking a breath. Within a few minutes, my cancer symptoms had swept back in, enveloping me in that blanket of sick that I had just swore I had shucked off for the day. Here I was again, the lymphoma patient, set up for yet another day on the couch. Awe man! One of the hardest parts too is watching my husband’s temporarily hopeful facial expression slowly fade into a sad little empathetic smile that I have come to know so frequently. This is, my friends, just the way it is. There is a level of unpredictability about this whole thing that is never easy to reconcile, much less accept. Welp, I guess it’s time to dig out the remote again and settle in for some more Netflix. It is what it is. That’s fine. I’ll rest for now, plotting what amazing things I could do in that next 35 minutes! This is just one of the smaller battles Cancer. You can have this one. I’m saving myself for the real one. Cue mic drop.
Dr. Katz
