Tag: accomplish

Am I seriously chastizing myself right now for not being busy enough?

Covid has really forced me to “slow down” lately. It really doesn’t give you any choice. Until you progress pass the point of feeling out of breath just by moving, you really don’t have any other option but to slow down. I am just not used to it. I am used to being busy. I thrive on being a multitasker. I feel like my mind is always on the next thing. But, now that I have some time to ponder it, is that really healthy or ok? Why do I like being busy so much?

Even before the covid slow down, I really started to notice that I was not as busy when I would look at all the social posts from dance mom friends. The constant competitions, rehearsals, and travel used to fill my life too. It has been a hot 3 years since those items have been on my agenda that’s for sure. But, I did put in 10+ years so I guess I paid my dues. I guess I have to say that I don’t necessarily miss the 4 am mornings and trying to figure out all the schedules, but there is a part of me that misses it all the same. I seem to have filled up the gaps nicely with work, writing books, blogging, doing the household finances, running an office, etc.

So again, back to the original question, why do I crave being busy? There are many reasons. I think that one of the most important ones for me is that when I am busy, I feel like I am contributing. I feel useful. I feel like I am “pulling my weight.” I know that is something I need.

Some people say that being busy is like a coping/avoidance mechanism. It is a way to stay focused and push away the worries about something that is bothering you and keeping moving forward. This is both good and bad. It is good in that you are not allowing something that is worrying you to stop you. But, it is not so good if you rely on keeping busy to avoid dealing with anything. Keeping busy is all good until it overtakes you to the point that you forget how to enjoy life or take anything in.

Jamie Bloch, psychologist and clinical director of MindMovers Psychology says that some people are actually addicted to being busy. When these people complete tasks, their brains actually release dopamine, which makes them feel good. I am not sure that I am actually addicted to being busy, but it does make me feel good.

Sometimes people feel the need to be busy because they are seeking approval. The need to please everyone keeps them from saying no to any tasks and therefore they are always up to their ears in activity. In the end, all this does is run them ragged and they probably do not get much in return for their efforts.

I think society expects us to be busy and in motion all the time. It all goes back to the sense of worthiness that I mentioned in the beginning. We all feel like we are worth more if we are accomplishing something.

The desire to be busy sometimes sets us up for failure. We tend to set up these gigantic to do lists that are sometimes impossible to achieve, which leads to anxiety and a sense of letdown. This is not healthy.

I think the key is to strike a balance between our productive lives and our restorative lives. Yes, keep our productive lives to accomplish and achieve and feel worth. But, also keep our restorative lives in which we practice self-care (which isn’t selfish) and take a minute to breathe, reflect, and preserve and let go of the notion that we need to be in motion every minute. I think that the key to doing this is to let go of the nagging worry about what society expects of us in terms of activity level and get to know ourselves more and what we can handle. I think we will all be a little bit healthier in body and mind for it.

Dr. Katz

The Nissan and the Lexuses..or….why don’t I fit in?

Every morning, my little Rogue and I drive to work together. When I find my way into the parking lot at the hospital, I am always greeted by a fleet of Lexuses, Teslas, and Maseratis, etc, all parked incorrectly, the vast majority taking up more than one spot. I drive around and around, looking for somewhere to park and end up finding something a little more remote, despite my doctor’s parking pass, and I squeeze my little Rogue in and head up to my office. Sometimes I look back at my goofy little car with the Mechagodzilla on the dash and my fuzzy dice in the window and just kind of giggle a bit. It does look kind of out of place amongst all the other luxury vehicles but it’s just…more….me.

I realize at that moment that it is kind of a metaphor for how I don’t exactly fit with my colleagues at any one time. I have spikey hair. I have tattoos. I don’t act like I am better than anyone else. I talk with people not at them. I am not employed or owned by anyone. I don’t see a high volume of patients like cattle on certain days. I say what I think while at least attempting to be professional and appropriate at the same time. I am pretty goofy and I like to laugh. My job is not just a drudgery to me. I love it and hopefully it shows! ( By the way, I am not saying that everyone is like this. These are just some differences I have noticed over the years in some cases.)

I used to perseverate a LOT about the fact that I was so different. I felt this pressure to conform, fit in, be a grown up all the time, get in line….all that. In fact, I worried about that until this last year as a matter of fact. Then, I got cancer and my whole world changed. I definitely had an epiphany YOLO moment. I realized that life is too short to try to mold yourself to others’ models. Being you is your best chance to be able to live YOUR life at YOUR best. In fact, I have noticed that since embracing my uniqueness more lately, I feel like I have attracted more patients, built better relationships , and been more successful. I think the key was getting more comfortable with who I am and caring less about the opinions of others. That removed an unnecessary distraction that was just getting in the way of my own success. Now, let me be clear, I am not advising anyone to be out of control or fly in the face of every applicable convention that is laid before them. I am not saying to never go by the rules. I am just saying to enjoy….being……YOU!

Dr. Katz