How to give bad news ” the right way.”..or what is the patient’s role in their own health care?

Ok what the heck does that mean? I am going to tell you what it means to me. I have had to give a lot of bad news lately. I have also had to receive a lot of bad news myself lately with all my cancer battle stuff.

Most of the news I have had to give has been heartbreaking because the scenario was scarily familiar: women who hadn’t had regular care in many years and finally made their way to me. I had to be the one to drop the verbal bomb on them about something that was probably either preventable or vastly more treatable with earlier detection and treatment that could have come with routine, regular care.

So, what is the best way to go about giving bad news? I feel like this is something that we are never really taught in a meaningful way in medical school. I have not seen any significant study proven data that describe exactly how to do it. Most of the techniques that I use have come from my own experiences as a patient and the experiences that I have with my patients.

The first thing I would like to emphasize is that you really need to put the time in to know your patient. You need to know much more than the details of their history and their diagnosis. You need to take the time to know them as a person. You need to have an appreciation of their life situation and the availability, if any, of any family or friend support. You have to at least have an idea of what they are ready to handle and digest in terms of information about their diagnosis. Not every person is the same. Not every person is ready to hear the complete blunt truth all at once. Some need to hear things in phases and parts. Some need to hear it all at once. You need to figure out which is which.

Please, do not attempt to commiserate with the patient by saying things like ” I totally know how you feel…or I completely understand what you are going through.” There is a 99 percent chance that that is not true, unless you literally have gone through the exact same thing. It almost is kind of an insult to the patient and minimizes what they are going through without you meaning to. It is much better to say something like…”Of course I can’t possibly fully understand what you are going through, but I am going to do my best to help you get through it. or…”.I know this news is hitting you very hard right now, but I want you to take a minute to take it in and let me help you figure out what direction to go next.”

It is essential to get the patient actively involved in their care. This sounds obvious, but you would be amazed at how often a patient gets almost immediately lost in the shuffle of the “team process” without actually being able to be the captain of their own team. This is absolutely crucial. This is the very first stage of empowerment for the patient that has to be initiated as soon as possible. This is the beginning of the way to help them see their way through their diagnosis. I am always puzzled at doctors that are wary of patients that are knowledgeable and want to be involved in their care. I personally feel that this is the ultimate blessing and one of the best probability indicators of success and survival. We physicians should never be unnerved by this. We as physicians need to realize that our roles are as team members and advisors with experience, never patriarchal dictators of patient care regardless of patient input.

Just some food for thought guys.

Dr. Katz

” The Good Kind” of lymphoma

Today’s the day. Today I go for excisional biopsy of the lymph nodes around my neck so they can study it and determine if I have ” the good kind” of lymphoma, Hodgkins, or the aggressive kind, diffuse large B Cell Non-Hodgkins. Good kind? Bad kind? I am just not sure what to root for here. Isn’t all cancer “the bad kind?” My doctor also told me with a smile that he has never lost a patient with Hodgkins. Awesome! But wait! What about Non-Hodgkins patients? He meant to be reassuring. Instead of taking that as good news, I immediately panicked that he had somehow over bragged to the universe and karmic retribution had to be on it’s way.

Sorry, I couldn’t help a bit of sarcasm there. I know what the doctors mean. One kind has really high cure rates and one not so high and tougher to get through. Yes. Of course I understand. However, it is tough for a patient to embrace the clinical perspective right after hearing a diagnosis. Sometimes they just need a minute to try to start processing before they are able to realize whether they are actually “luckier ” than they thought or not. The moment you hear the words “we think you have cancer”, everything kind of stops. No other words have a chance to register. That dirty C word just hammers in your ears like an obnoxious bell and your mind starts racing. You need to just let it sit a minute before you start comparing stats and trying to tell them how to think about it. I know this first hand. I do it too as a doctor. I am always trying to temper my need to tell a patient that it’s not so bad and flood them with good statistics to reassure them with their need to just sit a second and take in what I said first.

Bad news is never easy to deliver, even when a patient is expecting it. I don’t really think that there is one best way to do it. I tend to vary my presentation depending on my knowledge of the patient and what I think they can handle. I was expecting this news, based on everything that I knew, but I still wasn’t instantly ready to prioritize and tier the possible types of cancer and how one was better than the other. I just needed to take in the fact that I could have cancer. That was as far as my mind could go at the moment. For me as a physician, if I know that I have to deliver bad news, I deliver the news and then I am quiet for a minute. I deliberately try to let the patient be the first one to start the next part of the conversation. I have just told them something that may soon launch them into a life-changing scenario in which they have little control. I figure that the least thing I can do is let them have control over how the conversation goes in the next few minutes. If I let them speak first before bombarding them with statistics or trying to mold how they should perceive the news, I can more clearly gauge how to tell them more and what to tell them. I think that it is really important to let them at least take control of this initial conversation. It may be the only decision that they get to concretely make for awhile. Sometimes I can’t reassure them right away. Sometimes they just aren’t ready. They are scared, angry, and confused. Sometimes you have to let them be for a minute.

I think it is tougher for my doctors to let me be for a minute. They know that I am a physician too and they figure that I can handle all the stats and details. They care almost too much because they know me. They know that I can understand the information. They know that I am interested in being my own advocate. I get all that, but sometimes it is a little too much. This time, I am the patient. I am not in charge, although I am trying to act like I am. I am putting on a brave, calm, collected face. Sometimes I think I am doing that more for others than for myself. I don’t feel very calm and collected when I am sitting in my bathtub, overreading about lymphoma and trying to give myself an anxiety attack…lol. I want to be Wonder Woman, but right now, I am just me, Laura Katz, the patient. I am waiting for news just like everybody else. I am waiting to see how my life is going to change. That will have to be good enough.

Dr. Katz

Boy That’s Got Me Thinkin

I just heard about the unexpected death of an amazing human today and it really got my wheels spinning. It made me take a step back and re-evaluate my own processing of the world around me lately and really embrace the amount of time that I have wasted with misdirected anger, emotions and the occasional dose of self-pity. I need to stop. It shouldn’t take news like this to shake me out of my own festival of wallowing. I should already know that, whatever potentially exaggerated feelings that I have about what my own life struggles, there is always something worse out there that someone else is going through. I am not saying that I spend an exorbitant amount of time feeling sorry for myself or anything, but really any time is too much time now that I think about it. Have I had some shitty things going on lately? Check. Have I had financial issues like everyone else? Have I had any health issues? Check. But, for all that, I have plenty of things to be grateful for too. I still have a job. I am still above ground. I have great kids and a great husband. I work hard and I get to see the positive effects on patients, etc etc. Like I have said many times over, I need to follow my own advice and break the proverbial chains that tie me to negativity like some sort of prisoner. All they do is hold me back and keep me from recognizing anything good when it happens. So, I am going to make myself a promise and grab those bolt cutters with both hands and make way for positivity. Who’s with me?

Dr. Katz