Tag: cancer treatment

I pinky swear I haven’t forgotten how to be grateful. I’m just not taking things as well.

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The last couple of years have been really hard. My children were sick. We have all been “living” with a pandemic raging around us. I battled cancer. My husband tried to die from a heart attack. The list goes on. I know I know. You all know this already. Despite all this, I have continued to make it my mission to be a beacon of positivity unlike the planet has ever known. I am constantly in search of the bright side or the retrieval of the positive, no matter how small a portion it is. I get signs from the universe all the time that this is what I am supposed to do. I have had complete strangers reach out to me for help and guidance, which I love and I am happy to give. That is truly me in my element: helping people. I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

So, I have spent all this time being tough and positive…still am. However, I find myself struggling a bit lately. It’s all fun and games when everything is going my way, so to speak. But, I have noticed sometimes, that when something doesn’t, it kind of crushes me for a hot minute before I can get a hold of myself. I start resenting and complaining, or freaking out all together. This kind of reaction is somewhat foreign to me and I find myself saying “Whoa Katz. Get a grip why don’t ya? You have been through way worse shit than this for chrissake!” ” You are alive! Does anything else really matter?” Most of the time that works, but I find myself having to do it more and more often lately and that bothers me.

Part of me realizes that there is an element of PTSD circulating around my brain with my serotonin, trying to convince me that there is only a matter of time before another shoe drops. It insidiously permeates my life still, forcing unreasonable reactions and fears. It is pretty par for the course after what I have been through. I think that my goal for now is to stop trying to push it away and acknowledge it and deal with it. I think that by trying to suppress it, I am actually giving the PTSD more power than it already has. I assure you that I have been taking all the outward steps: showing up to counselling, reading about it, talking to myself like I said, nodding when my therapist explains it to me. But, I really haven’t been doing the internal work. I have been so busy pushing forward toward my happiness mission that I haven’t really allowed myself time to recover or react.

This really smacked me in the face last Friday. I went for my routine mammogram. Some of the same techs were there that were with me last year when all my cancer stuff was ramping up. I got my mammogram done and those 45 angle views really pulled at my lymphedema on the side of my neck and it started to throb and hurt. Everybody did everything right..and I should have expected this to happen and prepared, but I didn’t. Instead, I laughed it off at the moment and went upstairs to my office, only to start bawling my head off in a flood of cancer memories the moment my MA asked me if I was alright. I just couldn’t stop. One memory/flashback after another started just flooding me over and over. I actually had to leave the office and felt really guilty doing it on top of it. I knew I just couldn’t be my best self for patients though. I literally cried half the day as I reexperienced everything from the whole last year all over again. Sheesh.

My point is, that I really have missed the boat on recovery and reaction somewhat. The strategy I thought was helping me “not to wallow” was actually preventing me from processing what was going on with me. I pushed it down and just kept pushing forward instead. By not allowing myself the time to really go through things…..while I was going through things…..I didn’t really do myself any good. Sure, I got through my cancer experience and survived. That is definitely a win. But, I bottled so much stuff up that now it bubbles over when I don’t expect it. That’s no good either.

The bottom line is that I am very grateful to be a survivor and I love helping others survive whatever they are going through, life-threatening or not. But, in order to truly survive and thrive on top of that, I have to allow myself to process and react to experiences when I have them. I need to not punish myself or second guess reactions and just….have them. I have to realize that, no matter how tough I am, I am still human. I need to give myself the same consideration and time that I give to everyone else. I promise that I’ll work on it.

Dr. Katz

Why are you still all up in my business chemo?

The overall good news is that we are getting better and better at helping patients survive cancer. Awesome! Whoohoo! The double-edged sword side of this is that as people are surviving longer and longer, we are getting to know more and more about late side effects from chemotherapy.

So, what is a late side effect? A late side effect is a side effect that you experience after treatment is over. These can occur even years later. What?! These late side effects can result from any type of cancer treatment. So far I have experienced significant neuropathy, muscle pain, headache, nausea, severe hypothyroidism, renal dysfunction, “chemo brain”, stomatitis, significant fatigue, cough, shortness of breath and hot flashes. I may be forgetting a few but those are the ones that come immediately to mind. To be honest with you, I am kind of over it. Enough already!

The main types of cancer treatment so far are chemotherapy, hormone therapy, surgery, radiation, targeted therapy and immunotherapy. Let’s look at each one. Now, before I go into this, I want to remind everybody that technically we all get counselled and have to sign a consent form before receiving any kind of cancer treatment in the first place. Some places do it better than others. Most sit down and do a one on one chemo teaching session in which the patient can ask questions and get clarification. This is a great opportunity to really START to appreciate what you are getting yourself into. Unfortunately, after this great teaching session, there is usually still a 20 plus page consent form that you are supposed sign as well. I’ll tell ya, nothing undermines your confidence like thinking you just covered all your bases and then you get this huge document plunked in your lap that you are supposed to pour through to make sure you really get it. I think a lot of us do our best but there is no way to digest all that additional info efficiently in a short amount of time, but we sign it anyway because we really want that cancer gone. This is a tough spot for any patient to be in because you really want that cancer gone, but you don’t fully realize what you possibly consented for in exchange. Yes, I am talking about side effects and other potential cancers. This is what we are going to talk about.

Let’s look at the kind of late side effects that are possible with each type of treatment. First let’s look at chemotherapy. Chemotherapy can cause a multitude of late side effects like early menopause, hearing loss, increased risk of other cancers, lung disease, nerve damage, reduced lung capacity, osteoporosis, and dental problems.

Now let’s look at radiotherapy. Radiation therapy can cause all kinds of late issues as well, such as cavities, tooth decay, increased risk of other cancers, coronary artery disease, increased stroke risk, hypothyroidism, heart and vascular problems, early menopause, intestinal problems, memory problems, osteoporosis, infertility and lymphedema.

Surgery is another mode of targeted cancer treatment. The main side effect of surgery is infection risk, at the time. The main late effect of surgery is lymphedema in the area that was operated on.

Hormone therapy is another type of cancer treatment. With hormone therapy comes the risk of blood clots, hot flashes( for men and women), menopause, sexual side effects, osteoporosis and the risk of other cancers.

The last two main categories of cancer treatment are immunotherapy and targeted therapy. These are still new enough that we don’t know a lot about possible late side effects. Lucky me, I fall into this group. Actually, I fall into the immunotherapy and the chemotherapy group. I’ll keep you posted.

The point I want to make is that it is not all in your head when you are still having symptoms long after chemo. We really don’t know a way to prevent them. If you are having them though, make sure to speak up to your doctor and make sure something else is not going on. Even when your cancer is over, it is still your job to continue to advocate for your health.

Dr. Katz