Tag: distance

“They” say that money isn’t everything…but who’s they? The people with the money?

The Dalai Lama once said that “These days, in our materialistic culture, may people are led to believe that money is the ultimate source of happiness. Consequently, when they don’t have enough of it they feel let down. Therefore, it is important to let people know that they have the source of contentment and happiness within themselves, and that it is related to nurturing our natural inner values.”

On the opposite end of the spectrum, Earl Wilson said, ” Always remember, money isn’t everything-but also remember to make a lot of it before talking such fool nonsense.”

So, who’s right? How important is money in our lives? How important is money to our happiness? I am sitting here browsing through all these wise and quippy quotes about money. The trend that draws my attention is that every quote that belittles the possession of money or summizes that it is insignificant, seems to be made by a very wealthy or famous person. The rest of quotes that address the fact that some financial backing is essential to survival seem to be made by everyone else.

Interesting. I think all of them are correct actually. Once you have achieved fame and fortune, money becomes less important because you already have it. You already have a foundation. The struggle is over. For the rest of us, we realize that human beings need money to pay for all the things that make your life possible. You need it to pay for your basic needs like healthcare, food, and shelter. That is just a fact. Having more money gives a person more choices and comes with more autonomy in their own lives. Can money buy happiness? Well, I think we have answered that question with a resounding no over the ages. Money cannot buy happiness. I am sure there are miserable millionaires everywhere.

There are some plot twists though. There are studies that show that, while having enough money for basic needs and provide a safety net is essential to well being, having additional income may not actually increase wellbeing and may even have a negative impact. Here are some statistics.

A study was done looking at per capita income in the United States from 1946 to 1990. Per capita income rose 150%, yet the percentage of people who reporting being happy fell significantly and depression rates rose ten fold. People who won large sums of money with lotteries were not actually happier a year later and had more daily dissatisfaction. The University of Minnesota did a nine experiment series that showed that when people are thinking about money, they isolate themselves from others. Money made people want to be free of dependents, be less helpful to others. When people compared themselves economically to others it only caused distress. Well, none of that sounds good.

So, why think about money so much? It does allow for some instant gratification possibilities. It does help provide for our basic needs, but we have shown that it doesn’t buy happiness. In fact, we have shown that sometimes too much of it can make things worse. I think it is not realistic to say that it doesn’t matter at all. That is not really possible. I just think that it can’t be your primary focus all the time. It’s too disruptive mentally and physically. There are other things that matter more like relationships, purpose, and happiness. Within reason, I think over focusing on money should take a back seat to those.

Dr. Katz

What do you look for in an obgyn?

This question actually has multiple answers and is a more complicated process than selecting a primary care physician. The usual selection criteria apply of course: 1) Is the doctor in your network? 2) Are they local and easy to get to? 3) Does their availability(office hours) fit your availability? 4) Do they have good reviews? 5) Do you know anyone personally in your family or friend group that already sees them so that you can get firsthand feedback?

These are good to go by when attempting to select any physician, bearing in mind that reviews on google can be written by anyone anywhere, even if they have never been in the office in question. Having family feedback is good as well, provided that you know the whole story surrounding their comments. ( i.e Grandma Martha hates Dr. X, but also has multiple no show appointments and owes the office a lot of money that they are rightfully trying to collect) You see what I mean? Even the seemingly best source of information does not compare to your own personal experience.

Having clarified all that, I feel that selecting an obgyn adds yet an additional level in selection complexity. Finding the right obgyn means finding someone with a communication style and listening skills that make you feel comfortable enough to discuss some of your most personal and potentially embarrassing issues. I mean, you can’t go discussing your vagina and hormones with just anybody. Hopefully you are able to find somebody that listens and “gets you” at the same time.

This is the kind of thing I strive for the most….the listening part I mean. It is so so important. Many of the women that I see are frustrated because they have spent years dealing with unresolved issues because they either did not feel comfortable mentioning them to their previous physicians or they were dismissed. This should never happen. Every single patient deserves to be listened to and, in my opinion, if they have an issue that you are not prepared to deal with, they should be referred onward to someone that can. The patient should never have to suffer due to your lack of comfort or familiarity with their particular problem.

I received a compliment once from a patient that I did not understand at first, but now I consider it one of the best compliments I have ever gotten. She said that coming to my office was like coming to a girlfriend’s house. At first I thought, what the heck does she do at her girlfriend’s house? My face must have registered my confusion for a minute because she went on to explain what she meant. She meant that I was able to make her so comfortable at my office that she was able to disclose and discuss anything and everything that she wanted to. That is my job, my sacred mission, and what it’s all about. Have a great night everybody!

Dr. Katz