Tag: empathy

The Best 35 Minutes Ever!

So, this one Saturday pre chemo I woke up feeling like a champ!  I had slept a full ten hours…..without interruption!  Holy Crap!  I didn’t even feel like I had cancer!  I had energy!  I wanted to go kick some ass somewhere!  I did a little dance.  I told everybody in the house that I was ready to go.  I sat down to breakfast 35 minutes later, smiling ear to ear.  And then, without warning, it all started melting away.  I felt the slow spread of heat and fatigue wash over me.  I started getting short of breath and achy.  I couldn’t speak in full sentences without taking a breath.  Within a few minutes, my cancer symptoms had swept back in, enveloping me in that blanket of sick that I had just swore I had shucked off for the day.  Here I was again, the lymphoma patient, set up for yet another day on the couch.  Awe man!  One of the hardest parts too is watching my husband’s temporarily hopeful facial expression slowly fade into a sad little empathetic smile that I have come to know so frequently.  This is, my friends, just the way it is.  There is a level of unpredictability about this whole thing that is never easy to reconcile, much less accept.  Welp, I guess it’s time to dig out the remote again and settle in for some more Netflix. It is what it is. That’s fine. I’ll rest for now, plotting what amazing things I could do in that next 35 minutes! This is just one of the smaller battles Cancer. You can have this one. I’m saving myself for the real one. Cue mic drop.

Dr. Katz

Is It Time To Be Thankful Yet?

So, Thanksgiving just passed. Did we all remember to be thankful, or did we get mired down in complaining about not seeing the usual volume of family members and bemoan the current status of the COVID pandemic? I think that a lot of people fell into the second category, if they are being honest. I admit that, even though I have realized all of my current blessings, I still fall prey to the diffuse and sometimes oppressive fatigue of depression that has followed me around for the last 9 months, despite all my best efforts. This begs the question then, when is it time to be thankful? The answer is: RIGHT NOW! For a lot of us, things aren’t really going our way and haven’t for a long time. The economy is tough. Family relations are strained. Family members have been lost. People are fed up and spend a little too much time like little powder kegs ready to blow at the slightest opportunity for conflict. On top of that, the capacity for empathy is not so great right now. I have to admit that, even my standards for thankfulness have had to be lowered a bit just to keep things in perspective and convince myself that I am not “reaching too high.” …lol. Still, I am above ground, I have a family to miss, I have my health ( most days), and I still get to do what I love and take care of people. Essentially, it is all I really need so you betcha I am thankful. Don’t let me kid you. I have ” days” like everyone else. I am still human. We are all feeling the struggle right now. It’s a normal human response to the sense of loss of control and freedom. But, just when you feel that whine coming on I urge you to think twice before you do it. There is always the possibility that someone is worse off than you.

Dr. Katz