Tag: husband

I got the nicest compliments today

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Look How Far We’ve Come!

My husband and I have just celebrated 31 years together, 25 of them legal! Yes, that means that we just had our 25th wedding anniversary. We got to spend it in New Orleans with all kinds of food, ghost, voodoo, music, and fun. It was a wonderful time. I felt so fortunate that we got to spend it together, just the two of us. It had been several years since one or the other of us were sick and could not enjoy each other on our anniversary for one reason or another. This year was truly a blessing.

I started thinking back about how far we’ve come. I first met my husband in medical school. How he first drew my attention was the fact that he was literally the guy that laughed 30 seconds longer than anyone else in the entire lecture auditorium, loudly and with vigor. To the point that you were kind of shrinking down in your seat and hunching your shoulder with embarrassment, even though you weren’t the one doing the laughing…Oh lord. He also wore leisure suites fresh out the 70s every single day to school. Um what?! I gotta say, that was unique if nothing else.

So, we weren’t actually friends or hung out in any way and then one day, he invites himself to a concert with me and a friend of mine. I am ashamed to say that we actually refused to pick him up at his apartment because he lived in a part of Detroit that we were scared of at at the time (this was back in the 90s, not Detroit as we know it now). Well, he was un-fased and actually drove an hour way to meet us up at a dance club in his broke-ass, bungie cord hatchback attached Sunbird SE to meet us! We ended up dancing the night away. He had the whole club heying and hoing in a matter of 20 minutes! He complimented my absolutely horrible outfit…with sincerity! We ended up going back to my house together and he looked with rapt attention at my ridiculous post card collection and ate my parents terrible food and we talked til dawn, just like a movie. Honest to gosh.

Now, here we are 31 years later. Still happy and thriving. We have mounted the sometimes un-seemingly recoverable obstacles and tragedies and kept on going. We are both independent physicians and take care of people of all ages every day. We laugh until we almost pee our pants. We like the same ridiculous jokes. We watch chick flicks together. We are parents to three beautiful girls, who feel more like 6 any given day. I’m telling ya, we got it going on. You just never know what joy you could end up with if you give things a chance.

Dr. Katz

Today is a great freaking day!

Today is a great freaking day. This is my third day home and I feel like my whole life has changed for the miraculous and better. I am literally bubbling over with happiness and gratitude.

I look out my window now and no longer see alleyways and bricks. I no longer see the hospital. I see sunshine. I see flowers. I see nature. I see the trees. I see my pets. I get to look at my husband and kids every day.

Last night my husband and I went for a ride in his car. His beautiful used 50th anniversary Camaro convertible. The car is gorgeous. He saved and paid full price for it. He finally did something for himself for the first time in I can’t remember when. It is amazing. The look I get to see on his face every time he gets to drive it makes my heart swell. We just get to drive just because with the top down, my hair stubble blowing in the wind and the breeze and the sunshine on our faces. Fantastic music of all genres, completely our choice, is playing on the radio.

Our choice. Those are the key words. Now is the time to begin concentrating on what we want and what we want to do. Now is the time. Now is the time to live and make the most of everything.

Dr. Katz

There is so much to say

Buddha Quotes positive attitude

Hello there! Long time no write. It has been an interesting month to say the least. My head has been spinning with a little bit of everything lately, to the point that I didn’t really know how to put into words that would make any sense. I am going to give it a shot now.

First and foremost, I feel so grateful just to be alive. I remind myself to take note of this every day. It was not guaranteed by any means. 2021 was just a shit show of one inevitable thing after another, not to mention trying to be vanquished by lymphoma. Well! I showed that stupid cancer who’s boss! But, almost a year later, I am still not quite me yet. There have been so many side effects and setbacks and I just had to sign a different consent form that added about 6 new pages of warnings and potential complications for chemo that I already had. But, I just keep on taking the hits like a prize fighter and keep on plugging.

Second, I am so grateful that my husband is alive. I was barely a couple feet in the rearview from chemo when he tried to croak and had multi vessel open heart surgery, without having any high cholesterol or anything! Talk about terrifying and out of the blue! Helping him rebuild both mentally and physically has been one of the greatest challenges of our lives. If we allow it, the what ifs could easily overwhelm us. I just keep saying no!

Third, I am grateful that my kids are healthy, at least physically. Let’s face it. Almost losing both parents in one calendar year hit them like a ton of bricks, even though they tried not to show it. They wanted to spare our feelings and not have us worry or feel guilty. Too late for that. I watched their struggle to process and still give themselves permission to carry on with their lives. There is no more hopeless feeling than knowing your kids are fighting a battle that you just can’t help with or fight for them, but that is partially caused by you. I get it. Feeling guilty does not solve or remedy anything. I just can’t help it.

Fourth, the ongoing business struggles between the pandemic and the after effects of me working less during my cancer treatment and trying to help when my husband was ill are still catching up with me. Not a whole lot I can do about that besides keep working my ass off. On the other hand, I feel very fortunate to still have and own my business after everything that has happened. I’ve always said that I am not in it for the money anyway…lol

Last but not least, there IS something that really keeps me going lately in a good way. Want to know what it is? It is my positivity. What do I mean by that? Well, I DON’T mean that I wear rose-colored glasses and have unrealistic expectations that set me up for failure. I DON’T mean that I skip around singing like Snow White all day. I mean that I am still able to help people every day, no matter what has happened. I truly believe that my positivity has impacted people all over, even in some of the toughest, most defeatist cases. I feel like it is really working and spreading to everyone around me. I truly believe that I have been able to be the metaphorical flashlight that I was aiming for to lead other people through dark times. I realize that I haven’t been able to get to everybody, but I will never stop trying. I think the key thing for me to remember is that I am keeping positive and advocating and pushing because I want to, not from some sense of duty or obligation.

So, let me bottom line it for you. There is a lot of crap still going on, but I am staying positive! Join me will ya?

Dr. Katz

The Best 35 Minutes Ever!

So, this one Saturday pre chemo I woke up feeling like a champ!  I had slept a full ten hours…..without interruption!  Holy Crap!  I didn’t even feel like I had cancer!  I had energy!  I wanted to go kick some ass somewhere!  I did a little dance.  I told everybody in the house that I was ready to go.  I sat down to breakfast 35 minutes later, smiling ear to ear.  And then, without warning, it all started melting away.  I felt the slow spread of heat and fatigue wash over me.  I started getting short of breath and achy.  I couldn’t speak in full sentences without taking a breath.  Within a few minutes, my cancer symptoms had swept back in, enveloping me in that blanket of sick that I had just swore I had shucked off for the day.  Here I was again, the lymphoma patient, set up for yet another day on the couch.  Awe man!  One of the hardest parts too is watching my husband’s temporarily hopeful facial expression slowly fade into a sad little empathetic smile that I have come to know so frequently.  This is, my friends, just the way it is.  There is a level of unpredictability about this whole thing that is never easy to reconcile, much less accept.  Welp, I guess it’s time to dig out the remote again and settle in for some more Netflix. It is what it is. That’s fine. I’ll rest for now, plotting what amazing things I could do in that next 35 minutes! This is just one of the smaller battles Cancer. You can have this one. I’m saving myself for the real one. Cue mic drop.

Dr. Katz