Tag: memories

So, I just had this huge anniversary

Guys, do you realize that just over a year ago I was unconscious, in a coma, filled with brain tumor and swelling. Like, literally, gone from the world, no verbal communication, gone. That was Dec 11th 2023.

Wow! How time has passed. I cannot really say flown because believe you me, nothing has been fast. It has been hard, grueling, painful, lonely, exhausting, but not really fast per se. But, look at me now. My business survived. I retained all of my employees and made sure that their incomes were not impacted. I managed not to lose any of my equipment or my home. I have even managed to write two more books in the meantime! And, I finally managed to start paying myself some after like four years of mostly not doing it.

Sounds like all wins so far, but not gifts. These are all hard-earned achievements that took a lot of blood, sweat, tears, grit, determination, and positivity. I was not really given anything, but I didn’t expect to be either. I knew the road ahead. I had been through it before. Here’s hoping for some more lengthy time off in the future.

I have friends that are amazing and want to make sure to praise me for how far I have come. That is awesome and they are awesome. At the exact same time, I want someone to recognize me and all that I have survived and been through and throw me a big party that doesn’t involve raising money for my survival and is just for fun, I want to forget the whole thing and pretend it never happened in the first place. When I actually sit and allow myself to reflect for a minute, I go right back to the moments of fear and not knowing and wondering if I was even going to be able to get to stay on this planet at all. Those memories turn on you fast before you know it. I am never going to be upset at my friends for congratulating me. They are just trying to be the amazing people that they are. I am just admitting that it scares me at the same time. Like, what if it happens again? You know, all the fearful dready thoughts that mix in with the happy celebrations. I guess that is just the way that it is at the moment. Thank goodness for therapy on a regular basis to keep your head on straight.

The bottom line is that I will never stop being grateful for still being here and getting just to be alive. I will never stop trying to use my now functional brain for good and to help women and girls and hairy men( ya know the ones I do laser hair removal for?) everywhere and every day. I just have to realize that is also ok to sit back and take a minute if I need to pause for some memories or anxiety. It’s a normal response. I don’t have to be constantly busy and productive. I am still of use to the world even if I am not doing twenty things at once in case it’s my last chance to do so. Take it easy there Katzie, you are going to continue to be ok. It’s your time to shine now.

Dr. Katz

Peace

Sitting in my favorite chair

Flames dancing in the air.

Reflecting back on my day.

Shooing any bad memories away.

Only quiet satisfaction remains

Letting go of guilt sustains.

Allows my mind to rest.

Save myself for a bigger test.

Stop and Smell the Roses

You got to stop and smell the roses

You’ve got to count your many blessings everyday.

You’re gonna find your way to heaven is a rough and rocky road

If you don’t stop and smell the roses along the way.–Mac Davis

Stop and smell the roses. It’s a powerful statement that really has nothing to do with flowers. It means take a minute and pause to recognize the beauty of the world around you. How many of us actually take the time to do just that? How many of us consciously stop ourselves in the middle of rushing about our daily lives to just take note of our surroundings and appreciate them? Not too many I bet. I know that I don’t do it often enough. I think most of us spend the majority of our time running in multiple directions at once, marveling at our multitasking skills, and then find ourselves wondering hours or days later where our time actually went and have trouble actually remembering what we really accomplished. Time flies past us without a glance and we have nothing to show for it. The truth worth of an experience is measured in it’s memories. If we are moving too fast, we won’t have any. It’s time to slow down a little.

Have a wonderful day!

Dr. Katz

It’s Time to Say Goodbye to the Playset

Today we sold the huge playset in our back yard. We have had it for 15 years. It has swings, a trapeze, monkey bars, a slide, a sandbox, and a fort. We have been complaining about it for years because it was taking up space in our yard. Our youngest child is now 16 and no one has used it consistently since I can remember. And yet, we have held off from selling it….until now. Why? Were we waiting for grandkids someday? Did we think that we were suddenly going to get the urge to swing non stop? We finally listed it on Facebook and it was gone within 24 hours. Just the thought of it sent my 16 year old running to the swings and swinging as if her life depended on it, telling us how much she will miss it and how we will be depriving future grandchildren of its pleasures.

Suddenly we were all waxing poetic about the first time we bought it at the Monroe County Fair and reminiscing about the day we set it up. Why was it suddenly so important? Now that I think about it, it was important for so many reasons. It is the last remnant of our old house that we brought with us to this one. It is one of the last ties to a former life when the kids were little and innocent. That swing set was the setting for multiple milestones and countless important private conversations. It held our metaphorical as well as physical highs and lows, just like the swings that hung there. It listened quietly to devastating news and terrific recounts of joy with no judgement, offering comfort in the swings, lifting us to the heavens either to celebrate or to work through grief. It was a staple in our lives for years. It won’t be leaving for another few days yet. Maybe we’ll just make some time for a little more swinging.

Dr. Katz