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An idea alone is not enough.
Tag: positive
I’ve got to stop waiting for the other shoe to drop!
As most of you know, the majority of the last three years of my life have been just this side of hellacious and gut wrenching. I have spent the majority of it fighting for my life through two different cancers, trying to save my business so I had something to come back to, taking care of my employees, and trying to soothe my family’s concerns. All of which I have done willingly with positive attitude and fortitude.
Well now, the universe has significantly shifted. There are a ton of positive things going on. My family is doing ok. The finances are turning around. My business has survived. My daughters are getting to follow their dreams…and….I am healthy and aware enough to enjoy it! Heck even the Detroit Tigers and the Detroit Lions are winning!
There is not a day that goes by that I am not humble and super grateful for everything that is happenning and I am putting out the good mojo wherever I go. Still, there is this penetrating inner fear inside me that it may all disappear again. There is literally a part of me waiting for the other shoe to drop, even though I have no indicators that it will. There is even a part of me that wonders if others are suffering in exchange for all the good luck that I seem to be getting.
Yes. I get it. Those are not healthy thoughts. Well thank goodness for the magic of an excellent astute therapist who gives it to me straight and helps me reset my ptsd thinking process. I tell here honestly about these kind of things and she looks at me and says ” Are you kidding me right now? You are wondering if you deserve these good things? You are wondering if other people are at risk of being hurt because good things are happening to you? I nod yes and then she smiles at me and goes on to tell me that the last time she checked, I have been working my ass off just to survive and help everyone else and try to save my finances and my business at the same time. I am definitely due for some good fortune. I have earned it in a way and I should not feel guilty for having it. I should just enjoy and go with the flow. It is not a logical way to think that others are potentially being punished at the expense of my good luck or positive things happening. Ok, I get it. Logically I know this but sometimes it is hard to relax and merely enjoy after all that has happened.
So, the bottom line of all of this is that I am going to keep up with the therapy. I am going to continue to work on my though process and continue to soak up the joy that I am experiencing right now and have great hope and not dread for the future. I want to be around for a long time more and fully embrace the positive turn of events. It will be ok.
Dr. Katz
Do NOT apologize for advocating for yourself!
To advocate is to publicly recommend or support. In terms of healthcare, it means speaking up for yourself and feeling more confident about the choices you make with your doctor. It means not letting someone else make all of your health care decisions without your input. It means being an active player in your health care team and helping drive your outcomes in a positive direction. It means asking questions when you don’t understand. It means keeping track of the course of your care. It means knowing your history and your family history and any other details pertinent to your health. It means following through with your doctor’s recommendations and taking your medications as directed. It means emphasizing an honest, team-oriented relationship with your physicians. It means being honest about your preferences or concerns. Let me clarify. This does not mean being rude or inappropriate or deliberately obstinate with your physician or constantly being on the lookout for a mistake that you can capitalize on. It is exactly the opposite. That kind of behavior really does nothing but insure a negative outcome.
You get the picture? Advocating for yourself requires action! You are representing you! You are the only one who knows you intimately and is with you 24 hours a day. This is something that you should never have to apologize for. For me personally, I love it when patients ask questions and get involved with their care. It shows me that they are actually interested in getting better. I have some colleagues that would strongly disagree. They hate it when they have to spend extra time answering questions. They view it as more of an act of belligerence or a personal attack, doubting their expertise. To me that is just a sign of their own insecurity in their recommendations. I say ask away and don’t leave the office until you feel comfortable.
Did you know that studies show that people who advocate for themselves are healthier and tend to live longer? Sounds like another bonus to speaking up if you ask me. Self advocacy is important because it helps you to be able to make your own decisions. It helps you gain self-respect and self-confidence. It helps you form an alliance with your physician. It helps you be a part of the doctor patient team relationship. It helps you learn to express yourself properly to attain the goals that you want. From what I can see, there really isn’t a down side so speak up why don’t ya?
Dr. Katz
Sometimes it’s hard
Sometimes it’s hard
Hard to always smile
Hard to show a good face
Hard to have a positive attitude
But you know what’s harder?
Negativity
Frowns
Apathy
Each of those
more destructive than the last.
Not for me I said.
Not for me.
I need all my strength
To fight the real enemy.
Every Memory Has Value
Have you ever noticed that when an experience ends in a sour note, our first instinct is to try to erase it’s memory as if it never existed in the first place? We attempt to block any recollection of the event as if to protect ourselves from the pain. Sometimes we go as far as to rewrite history to attempt to make ourselves feel better about the whole thing or to justify our decision in the end. I think that we do this in order to regain control and shield ourselves from the bad experience, thus taking away it’s power and impact. This is what we tell ourselves at least. However, I feel like the exact opposite is true. Every experience, good or bad, has value and a take away point. Most experiences that end badly were not truly 100% bad, or we wouldn’t have engaged with that experience to begin with. Nobody is that masochistic. I think that by expending the mental energy to rewrite history or deny any good memories that were also associated with it, we are actually granting more power to the bad part of the experience than it deserves. We are actually chaining ourselves to that negativity and becoming an essential part of the bad experience. We are discounting our own credibility in our judgement regarding what we chose to participate in. By allowing ourselves to acknowledge any positive aspects as well, we truly begin to free ourselves from that negativity and realize that, whatever the experience was, it wasn’t just a waste of our time to begin with. Have a fantastic day everybody!
Dr. Katz