Thank the lord for my awesome staff!

As you may or may not know, I have taken on a lot of stuff lately. In the last few years, I beat cancer, nursed my husband back to health after his heart attack, worked without pay, wrote some books ( buy some will ya?), became my own office manager, became my husband’s office manager, fired staff, hired staff, completely switched billing companies, expanded social media, started a lecture series, started a chemo support group…..whew. I think the list keeps going even after that. It’s a lot. I get it. Most people who foolishly ask me how’s it goin, may or may not want to actually know, but I tell them anyway! Then they get a little stunned. They wonder how I am not an overwhelmed hot mess. I tell them no, I’m actually not. I am enjoying it. Ok, that sounds crazy right? But let’s look at it this way. That is a ton of stuff for one person, I agree, but none of it is bad stuff. My uber positive spin on life right now makes me respond,” ya know, I think it’s the universe telling me that I am finally health enough to take on even more stuff!” Then they give me a weird look and kind of nervously laugh. I go on to explain that I believe in signs and a purpose to just about everything. Whether that thinking is religiously based, spiritually based, or magic based, it doesn’t matter. It only matters if it gets you motivated. Well all these things that have happened have only strengthened my sense of purpose. I like taking care of things. I love how the whole culture of my office has changed. Everyone is happy. Everyone falls over themselves to help each other. We all look forward to going to work every day. I couldn’t possibly have it better and I’m saying that even though we are still regaining economic strength with the new billing company and I am not consistently getting paid. I am there because I love it and I appreciate my whole work gang! They pay attention. They actually watch me for signs of burnout like I watch them…unprompted! It’s amazing. I wanna keep that going as long as I can. It’s a team effort. Being a good leader also means recognizing the skills of everyone around you. I only hope everyone can have a work environment like mine. You can, but you gotta work for it.

Dr. Katz

The time that guy sent me a “d k” pic.( One of the many things I just can’t make up.)

Hello everyone. Long time no write. As you know, I have been an obgyn for over twenty years, so I have seen a lot of crap…from the LADIES. I have been the palace of pelvic exams, beauty treatments, intimate secrets and more for many many years. Nothing really surprised me….until the other day.

I was on my social media( because nowadays you can’t seem to be successful in business without using it), and I clicked on one of my many direct messages for one of my companies. I frequently get messages from both male and female clients. That’s right guys, men get beauty treatments in secret too!. For now, let’s call the guy ” Joe.” Well “Joe” sent me a message, after trying to call multiple times. I give him the benefit of the doubt and try to open the message. Lo and behold there was a pic of “Joe” from the waist down in all his naked glory, cradling himself with his hand, as if to accentuate the size difference between the body parts. Whoah “Joe!” What the hell made you think I wanted to see that? I have one at home that I can stare at whenever I want by the way. He included a message to say that he sent it because I am such a sexy doctor….ummm…ok.

Here’s my question “Joe.” What were you hoping to get out of this? Was this flirting, in lieu of flowers or candy? First and last strike for me I’d say. Were you trying to force me to look at your genitals? That’s coercion man.

I decided to do a little research. How did/or since when did sending “D k” pics become so popular? Interestingly, no one knows. GQ did an article about this in August of 2019. It was very interesting. Apparently most men genuinely hope that whoever received the pic will whip themselves into a sexualized frenzy and immediately send back their own nudes. They also noted that most of the time when WOMEN sent nudes, they included their face. Not so with the penises. Just penis only. This tells me that these guys don’t think they have to preconsider at all when sending these little “presents.”

Unfortunately, this primal impulse has somehow lead to validation of the “d k” pic as a valid form of courtship! What?!!! The Journal Of Sex Research says that the thinking is very transaction oriented. ” IF I send this pic, they will send one back.” When we look back in history, the ‘D k” pic goes all the way back to Roman graffitti. I am not kidding you. Initially it had to be drawn or scribbled by hand but now with technology, it can all be potentially anonymous, which leads to a ton of risky sexual behaviors. The same study made the distinction between solicited( did you ask for it?) and unsolicited( no thank you). The only scenario in which unsolicited pics were welcome was for gay men on dating sites. For the rest of folks, it only stimulated shame, anger, and disgust.

So, we’ve studied it. Most people don’t like it.( Yeah right here!) I say cut it out will yah? Know your audience! It’s one thing to send a nude to a person you are in a relationship with ( if they are into that kind of thing). It’s quite another to send anonymous body part pics to someone you don’t even know. The moral of this story is put it back in your pants! I have no desire to look at it! #penisstrangerdanger

Dr. Katz

“I thought the dog was just twerking.”

We had a very full weekend over Labor Day: a house full of kids and grandkids with a side of plenty of mayhem and fun, even though the weather took a crapper. We have always used the no tech at grandma and grandpa’s rule so no tablets, phones, tv, YouTube, etc to allow us more time to talk, bond with each other and PLAY OUTSIDE! It’s a marvelous idea in theory. It encourages ten times more interaction than we would normally have. It is a double-edged sword however, because YOU also have to be willing to put tech aside, pay attention, and engage because you have just assigned yourself the role of main entertainment, which was formerly handed off to a barrage of impersonal, widely variable, non-censored electronic input.

So, now that the kids have your full attention and you have theirs, get ready for some unpredictable fun. When you are fully engaged, you can really get a sense of the full extent of their childhood innocence in some areas, and where they have had way too much exposure to the world in others.

We were sitting around the living room the other day and one of our dogs begins unceremoniously humping the other one. They seem to always wait until we have a full complement of company before they do this. Of course, we yell stop like we have never seen it before. Then my granddaughter says. “You know, I used to think the dogs were just twerking when they did that.” At first I am relieved that her first thoughts at 11 didn’t go to sex as a possibility. But, then I realized wait? She thought they were twerking? Where did she see that? How does she know what twerking is? Maybe her childhood innocence is not so intact after all.

What is childhood innocence anyway? This refers to the simplicity of children, their lack of knowledge and a purity that is not spoiled by the world just yet. They are ignorant of life and death. They are ignorant of sexual relationships, etc. They believe that anything is possible because their imaginations soar unchecked. It is heartbreaking in a way because once it is gone, they can never go back. It is a quality of ignorance that we visciously eschew as adults. We tell ourselves that we must have infinite knowledge and awareness of everything, which leads to depression and anxiety, overthinking and over analyzing.

So, if we know this is the ultimate outcome, why are we in such a hurry to overexpose our kids to the world at such a young age? Without supervision, they can access things on social media that would shock me even now! Stuff on TV or in movies is full of violence, drugs and sex. It is a totally un-censored barrage. We need to pay attention to what is filling our kids’ minds. The importance of this cannot be overemphasized. So, let’s all put down our phones, turn off the tv, and put the tablets away at least for a little bit every day. You won’t regret it.

Dr. Katz

NOW she doesn’t want to use social media?! ( Or, thank you Corona?)

See the source image

You know how we are constantly struggling to get our teens off of social media, ever searching for that blissful few seconds of direct eye contact? You know what I mean right? The nagging to put the phones away at the table, the desperate attempts to have conversation in the car, the fitful calls up the stairs to try and get their attention while they have locked themselves in their rooms doing who knows what on Face Time? We have all been there. I know we have. You can admit it. It’s ok.

Guess what?! The tables have turned! Now, we are relying on social media and computers for everything! We have to with this quarantine business. Now they have to be on the computer for homeschooling. They have to use their phone or Face Time to talk to friends, or anyone for that matter because they aren’t allowed to see anybody in person, except for the beloved family members that they live with. Wouldn’t you think that this would be a dream come true for them? Of course, I am not suggesting that being cut off from all of their activities, school, and boyfriends/girlfriends is fantastic or anything. I know that it’s not. I just thought that the endless opportunities for social media interaction without me nagging might soften the blow somehow. Weirdly, I think it has made it worse. In my mind, the unprecedented amount of free classes and online activities sounds like a goldmine of opportunity and I would be taking full advantage of it, plus the enhanced freedom of the current schedule. Just think of the stuff you could fit in that you normally couldn’t! Yeah. That is not how my kids are taking it. They are depressed. They are nesting in their beds more than ever. They are missing their friends. They are missing going to class. They are missing going to competitions. They are missing interacting with people besides me! It’s weird. It’s as if being able to see their friends and do their activities in an unlimited fashion on a screen only is now finally driving the point home of how much better it is to see people and do things in person! I did not see this coming! I have been trying to drive this point home for years! Who knew that I needed a pandemic with a side of home quarantine to finally get this done for me?! It feels weird to say this out loud, but thank you Coronavirus? For this one thing?

Dr. Katz