Truer words have never been spoken. I love this quote because it acknowledges the things you potentially can’t change, while redirecting you toward the things that you can.
Let’s talk about trauma. What the heck is trauma anyway? Trauma is defined as an emotional response to a terrible event. Immediately after the event, shock and denial are the most typical responses. Longer term response are more unpredictable and include mood lability, flashbacks, strained relationships and even physical symptoms like gi distress, headache, nausea and aches and pains. This sounds pretty straightforward but is actually much more subjective than you might think.
What is a terrible event? I am sure that we all have some standard ideas like natural disasters, rape, or war, but I am willing to bet that there are hundreds more, depending on the individual and the situation. It is not as black and white as it seems. Something that was pretty terrible for you may see like no big deal for someone else. To a large extent, it is a matter of perception. It is no one’s right to judge another on their response to trauma because it is impossible to truly be “in their shoes.”
So, what is post traumatic stress disorder? This is a mental health condition that is triggered by a terrifying event that is either experienced or witnessed. Symptoms include everything from nightmares, severe anxiety, flashbacks and uncontrollable ruminating thoughts about the event. It is normal to have temporary responses to trauma, but in individuals with ptsd, these responses don’t improve, often last for months or years and even disrupt daily functioning.
Well, I might as well tell you that I am having some ptsd after finishing chemo. Cancer, despite my positive attitude, still had it’s way with me mentally somewhat. It was, in fact, traumatic on multiple levels. Just like I have discussed before, I knew this was one of the risks after completing cancer treatment, not because anyone told me, but because it seemed logical. I mean, look at what my mind and my body have gone through. Chemo and the cancer itself blessed me with aches, pains, nausea, fevers, severe fatigue, neuropathy, etc and then when it was all over, my liver and kidneys took a hit and took awhile to recover….and then my thyroid died and it almost sent me into a coma….all when I was supposed to be done with all that! Mind you, I went through all of that while being off prozac so there was no mental health/anti anxiety buffer available so it was full on unrestrained feels and fear all day long. I got through it. I mean I am getting through it, but it has left some scars. Every twinge or pinch sends my brain racing with death defying possibilities if I allow it. Because, twinges or pinches meant something was terribly wrong before right? So why wouldn’t it mean that now? Oh yes, that’s right. I just had scans that were clear not even a month ago. I am ok. I saw it on film myself. Still, those rational thoughts aren’t the first ones that come to my mind when those symptoms come up.
Last night I was having a basic fibromyalgia flare, brought on by stress, like I have had a million times before, even before cancer. This time, you would have thought that I was dying. I started panicking. I decided that I wasn’t going to the party I was planning on attending. I put myself to bed and started ruminating on all the terrible possibilities until my amazing daughter pointed out that the symptoms were the same as always and she gently reminded me about the stressful day we had. Listening to her broke though my fear bubble just enough that I was able to get myself together and actually go to the party with my husband. We had a great time by the way. Thank goodness for her understanding and her voice of reason when I was being somewhat irrational. But, that’s what post traumatic stress is. It’s irrational. You sometimes cannot see your way out of it without some help.
As the quote above states, the kind of trauma that causes ptsd causes change that you don’t choose. I didn’t chose to get cancer and have organs shut down and be sick for months and months. That was a trauma and that is still affecting me. But, I can choose to continue to heal and get help for my symptoms rather than settling into them and just accepting them as if this is how the rest of my life is going to go regardless of my say so. I do have a choice! I am getting therapy. I am learning ( or trying to learn) new coping mechanisms. I am listening to my family. I am realizing that I do not have to turn in my Wonder Woman status just because I am dealing with this. I am embracing the fact that this is a battle that I do not have to fight all by myself and that is ok.
Speaking of not battling alone, I wanted to leave you with a screening guideline for PTSD from HelpGuide
Do you think you could have PTSD? Here are some screening questions. If you answer yes to three or more of these, you may also have PTSD and should seek help and therapy from a qualified mental health professional.
Have you witnessed or experienced a traumatic, life-threatening event?
Did this experience make you feel intensely afraid, horrified or helpless?
Do you have trouble getting the event out of your mind?
Do you startle more easily and feel more irritable or angry than you did before the event?
Do you go out of your way to avoid activities, people, or thoughts that remind you of the event?
Do you have more trouble falling asleep or concentrating than you did before the event?
Have your symptoms lasted for more than a month?
Is your distress making it hard for you to work or function normally?
If you answered yes to three or more of these questions, you can get help. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy can be very helpful. When you look for a therapist, make sure to look for someone that specializes in trauma and PTSD. There are also a multitude of PTSD support groups in Michigan, which is where I live. Here is some contact information.
PTSD Support Group- meets in Allen Park, Mi. Hosted by Juanita Hinton 734-530-4371
Trauma Recovery Empowerment Group- meets in Warren, Mi. Hosted my Tracy Denice McCall 313-635-0188
Women, Trauma, and Addiction- meets in Novi, Mi. Hosted by Dr. Trisha Stock 248-721-4534
ACT for Anxiety and Trauma-meets in Ann Arbor, Mi Hosted by Dr. Amy Paggeot 734-345-1356
These are just a few resources. My point is, if you think you are suffering from PTSD, don’t go through it alone. There is help out there. You may not have chosen the trauma that was inflicted on you, but you can chose not to be it’s perpetual prisoner.
Ah fibromyalgia! So often maligned as a bullshit, all in your head disease. Patients are placated, symptoms downplayed as just being overemotional or “making yourself sick” or dismissed all together. Seeing is believing when it comes to diseases right? If you can’t see anything on the outside of a person, they must be OK right? Wrong! Did you know that some physicians feel so strongly that fibromyalgia is baloney that they will refuse to see patients that have that on their history list. How do I know? Because I am one of them!
Ok, now that I am semi-finished with that initial rant, let me educate you a bit about fibromyalgia. I feel like it is time, as I am sitting here in full flare, probably brought on by the itty bitty amount of stress around me in the world today…lol
Let’s start out with some diagrams about fibromyalgia and all that it affects
Now let’s talk about fibromyalgia. We are not going to be able to discuss everything in the diagrams above, but we are going to hit some of the key points. The following information regarding fibromyalgia comes from a mix of two sources: my own experience and the Mayo Clinic. I figured that it would probably mean more to pull out a big gun like the mayo to help convince the dubious of this crappy disease’s validity. Well, here goes. Fibromyalgia is a real beast. Did you know that fibromyalgia is one of the most common chronic pain conditions in the world. It affects about 10 million people in the United States alone, according to the National Fibromyalgia Association. It is a disorder that is characterized by widespread musculoskeletal pain and fatigue. It does not cause joint damage per say, but the musculoskeletal pain is still quite severe. It also affects sleep, memory and mood. YAY! There is research that suggests that fibromyalgia amplifies painful sensations by affecting the way the brain processes pain signals. Huh? What? For example, a typical person might find light stroking on their arm(“arm tickles”) pleasurable on any given day. For a person with fibromyalgia on a flare day, they might perceive those light arm tickles as a person literally digging into their arm with hot pokers, which is about the furthest from a pleasurable sensation that you can get. This can definitely get in the way of a good episode of hugging or snuggling.
So, why does it hurt? We think that this abnormal processing of pain signals in fibromyalgia patients is due to abnormal levels of the neurotransmitters in the brain, spinal cord, and nerves. We have seen that repeated nerve stimulation in fibromyalgia patients actually causes changes in the brain and abnormally increases these neurotransmitters. On top of that, the pain receptors in the brains of fibromyalgia patients then go on to develop a type of pain memory and become even more sensitive. This results in the receptor “overreacting” to any pain signals.
We really do not know for sure what causes fibromyalgia. It is said that fibromyalgia symptoms can begin after a physical trauma, surgery, infection or significant psychological stress. However, there are other patients with fibromyalgia that gradually develop symptoms over time with no triggering event. Family history also seems to play a role in fibromyalgia. A patient is more likely to develop fibromyalgia if they have a relative who has it. I have seen this myself over the years. In my particular case, I can check off several of those boxes. I am blessed to have survived some horrendous car accidents. I have experienced lifetime movie-worthy psychological stress, in addition to multiple surgeries and I have family members who suffer from fibromyalgia.
The part about the correlation to psychological stress is what really gives fibromyalgia a bad name and it’s victims a lot of discrimination. This fact just makes it easier for people to label those patients as psychosomatic or treat them as if their pain is not real. Trust me the pain is real! The flares are real! I am very fortunate that I do not get flares that often, but when I do, I experience a multitude of symptoms including diffuse hot pain, especially in my neck, back and shoulders. All my sensations are off. I could scratch an itch on my arm and swear I just accidentally burned myself with a hot drill. My head hurts. I feel feverish. I am exhausted. Sometimes I even feel dizzy. My TMJ acts up. I get temporary irritable bowel symptoms. It just really adds up to a super fun day. I will admit that there is a correlation between stress, emotions, and symptoms. The symptoms are definitely worse when I am stressed, but then sometimes I have symptoms even when there is no stress and then I become stressed out because I feel so shitty. It can really be a vicious cycle. I am not sure that anyone can truly understand what a person with fibromyalgia goes through unless they have actually experienced it. We tend to judge people and their disease severity by outward appearances. It’s like we can’t believe something is real until we can “see it with our own eyes.” Well folks, there is nothing to see here and I guarantee you it is very real!
Let’s break down these symptoms a bit more: widespread pain, fatigue, and cognitive difficulties. Fibromyalgia pain is often described as constant dull aching that has lasted at least intermittently for at least three months. It has to occur on both sides of your body and above and below your waist to be considered widespread. As far as fatigue, fibromyalgia patients often wake up exhausted, no matter how long they have slept. Their sleep is often interrupted by pain and other sleep disorders like restless leg syndrome and sleep apnea, just to add to the fun. “Fibro fog” is a term that is used to describe the cognitive troubles like impaired ability to focus, pay attention and concentrate. I get it, fibro fog sounds made up, but it is very real as well. There are times when my level of discomfort really does get in the way of finishing a thought at that moment.
Fibromyalgia likes to hang out with a multitude of other painful diseases like migraines, irritable bowel syndrome, migraines and other headaches, interstitial cystitis( painful bladder syndrome) and TMJ. It’s almost as if all the fibromyalgia components aren’t enough by themselves. It’s like a domino effect with other body systems falling in line with altered pain perception with emotional component. The patients that have more than one of these pain syndromes truly have the capacity to suffer without some compassionate help.
Did you know that women are more likely to develop fibromyalgia than men? According to the National Institute of Arthritis and Musculoskeletal and Skin Diseases, women are eight to nine times more likely than men to have fibromyalgia. It has been suggested that women could be more at risk for fibromyalgia in part due to the role that hormones play in the perception of pain. Fluctuating estrogen and progesterone levels during the menstrual cycle seem to correlate with severity of fibromyalgia symptoms in some women. This fact of course leads to more discrimination as women are often thought of as the more emotional sex to begin with. This is consistent with the misguided thinking that fibromyalgia ORIGINATES from emotions and emotional triggers rather than the more accurate fibromyalgia is AFFECTED by or ACCELERATED by emotional triggers. There is a difference.
How is fibromyalgia diagnosed? Back in the good old days, doctors would put a patient through an 18 point pain exam. This exam consisted of a physician pressing firmly on 18 different points on a person’s body to see if any of them were painful. Nowadays we do not put patients through the tender point exam. Now doctors diagnose fibromyalgia based on the patient’s symptoms and if a person has had widespread pain( both sides of the body and above and below the waist) for more than three months with no underlying medical condition that also causes pain. There are no specific blood tests or x rays to diagnose fibromyalgia. But, doctors will probably draw a complete bood count, sed rate, ccp, rheumatoid factor and thyroid function tests to rule out other underlying disease.
So, how do we treat it? Is there any hope? The best option for fibromyalgia treatment is a combination of medication and self care. I am a fan of the multidisclipinary approach, emphasizing good physical and mental heath, along with management of pain to increase quality of life. As far as medications, the U.S Food and Drug Administration has approved three drugs for the treatment of fibromyalgia. Two of these drugs alter serotinin and norepinephrine levels to help control pain: Cymbalta and Savella. There are some older drugs that affect these same neurotransmitters as well like Elavil and Flexeril that can also be helpful. The third drug approved to treat fibromyalgia is Lyrica. Lyrica works by blocking the overactivity of nerve cells that are involved in the transmission of pain. Neurontin works in a similar way and is also sometimes used. Over the counter pain relievers like Tylenol, Motrin, and Alleve can also be helpful. Narcotics and opioids are not a good idea for fibromyalgia because they can lead to dependence and even worsen pain over time a a result. In addition, the side effect of sleepiness would only accentuate the baseline fatigue that fibromyalgia patients already suffer with.
There are non drug therapies as well. Physical exercise is the most effective treatment for fibromyalgia and should be used in addition to any drug therapy. Patients benefit the most from regular aerobic exercise or other body-based therapies like Tai Chi and yoga. Let me be clear, I am not saying anything about it being EASY to exercise with fibromyalgia. More often than not, I am usually cursing like a sailor when I first get started, especially if I am having a bad day and am hurting. The good news is that, even if a patient is in pain, low impact physical exercise will not cause any harm. I have to admit that, even if I am hurting at first, I usually feel better when I am done and I definitely feel better day to day if I keep up an exercise regimen. Physical therapy is also a good option because the therapist can individualize exercises for strength, flexibility and stamina. Water based exercises are very helpful as well. My motto is it’s ok to keep cursing, as long as you keep moving.
Acupuncture has also been suggested as an option for Fibromyalgia. Acupuncture involves the insertion of very thin needles through your skin at particular points on your body. It has been a key component of Chinese medicine for thousands of years. The Chinese use it to balance the flow of energy or life force (chi) that flows through the meridians( pathways) in your body. They believe that inserting these needles will re-balance the energy flow. In Western medicine, the acupuncture points are viewed as places to stimulate nerves, muscles and connective tissue. By stimulating these points, your body’s natural painkillers are stimulated like substance P, endorphins, and met-enkephalin. This stimulation of natural painkillers can possibly help with fibromyalgia pain.
The S.H.I.N.E protocol has also been suggested as a holistic approach to treating fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome. S stands for sleep. Get adequate sleep to replenish your energy and muscle repair. H stands for hormones. Correct any underlying hormone imbalances such as estrogen, progesterone, testosterone, or thyroid hormones. I stands for immunity and infections. Looks for underlying viral, bacterial, bowel, sinus or yeast infections and treat them. N stands for nutrition. Make sure that your vitamins and minerals are in optimal balance. E stands for exercise as able. Don’t overdo it and cause undue fatigue. Gradually increase exercise as tolerable.
It is very important to keep yourself mentally healthy with fibromyalgia. All that pain can really drag you down. Patients with fibromyalgia have a high percentage of anxiety and depression. Some of them had anxiety and depression before developing fibromyalgia. Some develop anxiety and depression after fibromyalgia. I think that chicken or the egg question can never be answered with certainty. I always recommend regular counselling to my fibromyalgia patients and I use it myself as well. A counsellor can be a fabulous resource for stress management strategies which can help lessen flares. In addition, a counsellor can help get at the root of any psychological trauma the patient may not have processed yet.
Last, but not least, I think it is important with fibromyalgia to take an active hand in developing your own strategy for how to deal with flares, keep moving and increase your own quality of life. I have noticed over the years that the biggest predictor of quality of life in my fibromyalgia patients is whether the patient is actively seeking ways to feel better and be captain of their own ship or if they have given up, resigned to be a victim forever. I have some patients who are in a wheel chair and on disability and I have some patients, like myself, who are active with jobs and living their lives. I really do believe that there is a mental game that must be played and won with fibromyalgia in order to not let it rule your life. I know that for myself, I have to get up every day and will myself to keep plugging and keep going, even if I don’t feel like it. I am not successful every time. There are some days when I am having a flare that is so ridiculous that I have to stay home, drink tons of water and wear an ice helmet around my head and neck. I have to force myself to go for a walk or workout because I don’t always feel like it and it hurts when I do it sometimes, but I know it is essential to keeping me moving I have to come up with ways to manage pain that still allow me to function during the day. My favorite pain management so far is to use some daily turmeric as a supplement, do some kind of workout every day, use Motrin when I have to, and drink tons of water to help me clear whatever inflammatory lactic acid that I have built up in my muscles. Massage is great too, when I can get to an appointment. I try to manage stress the best that I can, but I would be lying to say that I am perfect at it. Stress is unavoidable in my line of work…and life..lol The point is, that I have developed some strategies that are working for me..most of the time. Everybody is different. This disease sucks, but it is not life-threatening. We need to own it and work hard to find whatever strategy works for us. You are not going to cure it, but you need to find a way to live with it. That’s all for now.
