Tag: value

I can’t believe I am doing this again.

Hi guys. Long time no write I realize. There has been a crap ton of stuff going on. I have cancer again, for the second time in three years. This time instead of Hodgkins, I have large b cell primary cns lymphoma. That means I have a monster brain tumor. Yuck. This means two different cell lines within three years. This means I have a stem cell issue and am probably looking at stem cell transplant on top of months of chemo. This mean months in the hospital away from my family and other people I Iove. To even say the words brain cancer out loud are terrifying. It’s the kind of thing that sends a little shudder of terror right to your heart. I can’t help it. it’s true. It’s a scary thing. I personally feel it shouldn’t happen to anybody…lol. It’s one of those things that I cannot spend a lot of time overthinking about. The fear could paralyze you if you let it. Life must go on somehow, no matter how much you have left. I realize that this one could finish me but I am not going to let it stop me from living now. I am going to do everything I can to stay for myself, my family, my friends and my patients. I am determined to make the most of my life. 

I am about to change direction and tell you what has been good about this diagnosis. I realize that that sounds ridiculous and counterintuitive, but just listen for a minute. The overflowing vast amount of support has been amazing and warms my heart. It reminds me of all the blessings I still have despite my diseased brain. My staff, friends, family and patients have been amazing and I could not be more grateful. It reminds me that I am a good person who has spread positivity and helpfulness into the world and now people are trying to give it back. No matter what happens, I will try never to forget that. Thank you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Stay positive and fierce people!

Dr. Katz

Every Memory Has Value

Memories - kMITRA

Have you ever noticed that when an experience ends in a sour note, our first instinct is to try to erase it’s memory as if it never existed in the first place? We attempt to block any recollection of the event as if to protect ourselves from the pain. Sometimes we go as far as to rewrite history to attempt to make ourselves feel better about the whole thing or to justify our decision in the end. I think that we do this in order to regain control and shield ourselves from the bad experience, thus taking away it’s power and impact. This is what we tell ourselves at least. However, I feel like the exact opposite is true. Every experience, good or bad, has value and a take away point. Most experiences that end badly were not truly 100% bad, or we wouldn’t have engaged with that experience to begin with. Nobody is that masochistic. I think that by expending the mental energy to rewrite history or deny any good memories that were also associated with it, we are actually granting more power to the bad part of the experience than it deserves. We are actually chaining ourselves to that negativity and becoming an essential part of the bad experience. We are discounting our own credibility in our judgement regarding what we chose to participate in. By allowing ourselves to acknowledge any positive aspects as well, we truly begin to free ourselves from that negativity and realize that, whatever the experience was, it wasn’t just a waste of our time to begin with. Have a fantastic day everybody!

Dr. Katz