Month: June 2024

Vacation! Oh how I missed you!

V-A-C-A-T-I-O-N. 8 little letters but such a powerful word. A word that is supposed to fill you with anticipation, joy, and a sense of contentment. Well, I gotta tell ya. I cannot fully remember the last vacation when I wasn’t either in the hospital or facing some severe health diagnosis. There was no joy or relaxation involved. The word took on a whole set of new meanings: regret, isolation, and sadness.

I am so so thankful to report that now, I am actually on vacation for the first time in a long time when I am not in the hospital or facing something imminently terrible. I am so so grateful. I get to sleep in my own bed, not tethered to machinery or ivs. I get to look out my own window and see my beautiful yard and hear the birds sing instead of staring at the same old stretch of hospital cement and brick.

Am I planning any big trips? No. It’s not safe yet. But who cares? I am out of the hospital and getting healthier every day. I get to see my family. I got to go to my little cottage the other day and just soak it all in…the water, the wildlife, my little pontoon boat. It was so wonderful. Could I swim or anything yet in the lake. No, but again, who cares. I was just thrilled to be there.

I guess my bottom line is that a the meaning and the significance of a lot of things has shifted in these last 6 months. Well, the last three years actually with multiple bouts of cancer and other health issues. The importance of that is multi fold. I am learning how to cope with different things in different ways. I am re learning what is really important in life and I am relearning how to navigate through it. I would encourage everyone to take a step back and reevaluate your life, your surroundings and what’s the most important to you even before something awful happens. It could just help save your life and help you move forward after.

Dr. Katz

Someday I am going to have to relearn that one twinge somewhere does not have to mean that imminent doom is upon me.

Cancer related PTSD is real people. Did you realize that one in three cancer patients suffer from cancer-related PTSD? That is over 30 percent. That is actually a huge number. First of all what is PTSD? PTSD stands for post-traumatic stress disorder. Post traumatic stress and post traumatic stress disorder are two different things. Post traumatic stress is a normal response to a stressful event. It’s like getting nervous before a scan or a blood test. Post traumatic stress disorder takes things a step further. This consists of severe stress responses to triggers that last longer than 1 to 3 months. They are responses that are so severe that they can prevent you from going to appointments or even living your life. It can be very disabling. It is nothing to be taken likely.

So, who is at risk? Everyone who has had a specific traumatic experience is at potential risk of this. Some examples would be combat, abuse, assault, violence, mental or physical disasters, severe injury, or illness, like cancer. You are also more at risk if there is any previous history of anxiety or depression or you do not have a good support system.

You have to keep in mind that there is not one single cause of PTSD. It is different in terms of triggers and severity for everybody. The symptoms can range from nightmares and flashbacks or intrusive thoughts. There can be avoidance behaviors of people, places, or things. There can be a general disinterest in participation of any kind. There can be guilt or shame about your particular trauma. There can be insomnia. There can be a feeling of general disconnect. All of these are kind of attempted internal protection mechanisms that our brains come up with. But, none of them are actually helpful.

For me, the biggest trigger is any slight hint that something could be wrong such as a pain or a headache that I cannot explain. It immediately sets my brain off to a path of potential disaster if I don’t put a stop to it right away. I mean, to be fair, it makes sense, my previous headaches and pains led to me being in an unresponsive coma with a head full of brain tumor and mush. I am right to be leery and a little hypervigilant. It is my own hyper-vigilence that has helped save my life more than once. But,I still can’t let it rule my life. I have spent enough time locked up in hospitals and struggling to get people to listen. I can take a break right now. I have fought every fight with valiance. I have all the scans and the tests that prove that I am doing ok, including a scan that looks like an actual tumor-free brain. Win! I am going to admit that it is still a work in progress. It is hard not to jump to the bad news. I am just going to keep doing my best and not beat myself up about my jumping to possible bad conclusions. It is what is is. Every day I get to wake up and see the sunshine out of the window of my own house is a blessing. I just have to keep believing that the worst of days are behind me, and get help when I need it.

Dr. Katz

Mom! How come you didn’t force me to stick with that activity?

So, I have a fierce, independent, strong, intelligent, multi-talented daughter. She is one of those people that can literally try something for the first time and win ribbons, medals and prizes in it. She has that much natural talent. It is kind of awe-inspiring really. I’m not just saying that as her biased mom. Other people would actually agree. I’m actually one of the hardest ones to impress but I am always impressed by hard work and time commitment regardless of the result.

She has pretty much let me know that she would like to be in charge of her own life since the womb and I caught on quickly. I’m one of those moms that gets to know all my kids as individuals and each one of them and myself have a unique relationship based on their personality and personage. So, like I said, this daughter in particular is fiercely independent and likes to be in charge. Well, this was no different when she was nine and we were faced with the financially based “let’s narrow down how many things you are participating in right now” discussion. We talked about it in detail. Laid out all the financial responsibilities, the potential for success and what I thought versus what she thought about the direction she should head in.

She made what I thought was the wrong decision at the time, especially in terms of long-term interest and the potential for lasting success. We talked about it for a long time and basically ended up going with her decision, as previously agreed.

Years and years went by of not doing this activity. The other activities came and went and she always ended up pondering about this one, like I knew she would. Well guess what, now in her later teen years she has restarted this activity and is making huge strides with it and realized that she never should have stopped in the first place. To her, it fills her with some regrets at the wasted time of it all. To me, I realize that it means so much more to her now and is filled with even more potential than before and I don’t really feel that any time was wasted because it is now truly hers and she is in charge. I truly feel that she can accomplish anything that she puts her mind to…and she is definitely doing that now. I cannot wait to cheer for her and her future accomplishments.

Dr. Laura

The first day back at the cottage was magical.

I finally go to make my first trip to our little cottage in almost a year. It was amazing. As soon as my mind registered that we were getting in the car to go to the cottage, an instant feeling of calm and peace came over me. Just the feeling of heading out there stimulates a sort of restorative healing mental process. That little shack truly is our haven as a family. All 850 square feet of it up on a hill top with a small area of lake frontage on a clear, spring-fed naturally occurring private lake. Pure heaven.

We pulled up to the little driveway and I could see the clear blue water with fish swimming and birds hanging out. I could see our old pontoon boat with a faded yellow biminy waiting for us. Our little jet ski was also hanging out waiting to be ridden. Our used power boat froggy was also there waiting for us. I knew I wasn’t allowed to swim yet but nothing gave me more joy than watching my family and pets swim together. It just felt so good just to be there. Nothing else mattered.

We had simple hot dogs for lunch and I could almost taste them. That was amazing. My taste still hasn’t fully come back yet but every day I am getting closer. My mouth no longer feels like it is covered in some kind of dull film that blunts everything. It no longer hurts to swallow every bite and drop. All wins.

I actually made it up our steep hill about twelve times today. That was pretty amazing too. I am not saying that I didn’t get out of breath at all, but I made it. That was the point.

I actually took a power nap today. You know one of those naps that only lasts 45 min to an hour and is supposed to completely refresh you. Well I can tell you right now that I never believed in them nor found them refreshing but guess what, I had one today and it was amazing.

I know am getting repetitive but every step toward normal life is such a blessing. I will never forget where I’ve been and what I have been through but I am thoroughly enjoying each little step that I am able to master and each inch I creep toward normal life. Staying blessed and grateful. Take note of the little things in life. You never know how long they or you will get to stay.

Dr. Katz

I got my triple lumen out today!

Today was a big day toward my journey toward normal life. First, I had my follow up check up at the stem cell clinic. I found out that my wbcs were normal, my platelets were normal, my electrolytes were all normal and my hemoglobin had increased to the nines range. All big wins. I actually graduated to the next level of stem cell clinic because I was doing so good. On top of all of that, only should have been home the day before but I had already been home for 10 days. Awesome. I am so grateful.

On top of that, I got to get my triple lumen central line catheter out. So that big old three port things has been inserted into my main veins and sticking out of my chest for the last two months. It is the remaining visual cue that I am sick, besides the baldness of course..lol. Anyway, so that got to be removed today. It was actually the first thing scheduled by me that I got to home after it was completed. It was really huge. We actually had fun with it. They played AC DC for me. They did it all with local anesthesia. It was one of the easiest things I had to do so far. Then, I actually got to go home with less appliances attached to me for once. Win! Have a great day everybody.

Dr. Katz

Just inchin my way toward normal life.

So, tommorrow is a big day. I get to get my triple lumen catheter out ahead of schedule. What the heck is a triple lumen catheter you ask? Well I’ll tell ya. It’s a big central line catheter that goes right through your chest into your main veins and can deliver all kinds of chemo and poisons and fluids and you can draw labs off it. The nurses love them. It makes their lives a lot easier and it makes it easier on me with less pokes. There is only so much vein reserve I have left…lol. Gotta save some for later.

It also is a constant visual reminder that you have been through a lot of tough stuff…. but still got through it. It’s that “oh you were really going through somethin” visual reminder. I will not be sorry to see it go. Who knows? Maybe after that has been gone long enough I could even submerge in things like a hot tub again. OOh dare to dream. My dreams are big lately and I can’t wait to make them come true. Have a great day everybody!

Dr. Katz

Waxing Versus Laser Hair Removal

Ok, so I want to be clear that what I am about to say comes from 8 plus years experience and thousands of patients treated. So, here we go.

Lately I am seeing all these ads about waxing and how amazing it is. Then I think about what we do at my office and I gotta tell ya, there is no comparison. Let’s talk about waxing for a minute. Waxing. Does it hurt? Yes. Does it ever stop hurting? No probably not. Ripping your hair out of your skin probably never stops stinging and hurting. Do you have to do it over and over? Yes. Is there ever truly an endpoint? Probably not. Is it expensive? Yes. It really adds up over the years.

Now let’s talk about laser hair removal. My office has been offering whole body laser hair removal for all skin types male and female for the last 8 years or so. We have treated thousands of patients successfully without complications. My patients tell me that at first it can feel like rubber bands flinging against your skin for a second, but most of them refuse numbing, which we do offer. I feel like that’s a good thing. Also, we haven’t had anyone that it didn’t work on that I am aware of. The fact that it works on all skin types is a plus as well. In addition, all the procedures are provided by nurses or physicians in a proper sterile environment with proper pre- screening and all the consults are free. To add to that we even have lifetime specials that are reasonably priced that include any possible touch ups for years. I guess I just want to convey that I think laser hair removal is more effective, can be permanent, works for all skin types, is practiced in a safe environment and is actually affordable. That is all.

Dr. Katz

It’s kinda interesting how much lower your expectations get the more crappy stuff that happens to you.

closeup photography of pink rose flower

So, we all know I have been through some significant battles and stuff lately. Brain cancer, stem cell transplant, cannon ball chemo etc. I remember the days when the stuff that used to get me excited was that I won a contest or some kind of award or something. I’m not saying that that occurred that often, just noting that it was more high-end traditional kind of stuff that got me going and motivated.

Well no more ladies and gentleman! Now, I am excited about things like sort of being able to taste my food for the day, swallowing without pain, going a day without diarrhea or nausea. I am excited that I am able to take some steps without extreme exertion. I am excited that my mouth is no longer full of sores. I am excited just to open my eyes every day. I am thrilled to be back home in my own bed. It’s these basic little things that no longer seem so little that really make my day. I know it sounds silly but I really am genuinely about the gratitude for any of even the smallest triumphs. I really didn’t ever take anything for granted before but I feel like that is even more true now. Just thought I would put it out there. We all have our struggles, but I think it is the effort we make to get through them and how our perception can change for the positive that makes the biggest difference in how things can turn out. Have a great day everybody!

Dr. Katz

Today is a great freaking day!

Today is a great freaking day. This is my third day home and I feel like my whole life has changed for the miraculous and better. I am literally bubbling over with happiness and gratitude.

I look out my window now and no longer see alleyways and bricks. I no longer see the hospital. I see sunshine. I see flowers. I see nature. I see the trees. I see my pets. I get to look at my husband and kids every day.

Last night my husband and I went for a ride in his car. His beautiful used 50th anniversary Camaro convertible. The car is gorgeous. He saved and paid full price for it. He finally did something for himself for the first time in I can’t remember when. It is amazing. The look I get to see on his face every time he gets to drive it makes my heart swell. We just get to drive just because with the top down, my hair stubble blowing in the wind and the breeze and the sunshine on our faces. Fantastic music of all genres, completely our choice, is playing on the radio.

Our choice. Those are the key words. Now is the time to begin concentrating on what we want and what we want to do. Now is the time. Now is the time to live and make the most of everything.

Dr. Katz

It’s today! It’s today!

The coveted day has finally arrived. The day I get to go home. The day I get to see my family again. The day I get to see my pets again. The day I get to see my yard again. The day I get to see my house again. Whoohoo. I can hardly wait for noon to come.

I can’t wait for the moment my husband comes to get me. I can’t wait to see my silly old car again. I can’t wait to take in the moment that I am actually leaving the hospital and heading for the open road.

It’s amazing the amount of things that you take for granted when you just get to have them. I guess I am not quite saying that correctly. Nothing has ever been just given to me. I have worked my butt off for everything I have. I have tried very hard to earn everything. I just mean that you don’t realize how much you miss a view or your family or just basically being able to stare out a car window knowing you are finally going somewhere you actually want to go until you can’t for awhile. Basically, right and now, and even before now, I feel grateful from my head to my toes for every little thing. Has it been rough? Hell yeah! Did I have moments when I was wondering if I was going to make it out of this? Yep! Just days ago in fact. But guess what? Today is a new day people. Let the new beginning take flight! Have a wonderful day everybody!

Dr. Katz