How to give bad news ” the right way.”..or what is the patient’s role in their own health care?

Ok what the heck does that mean? I am going to tell you what it means to me. I have had to give a lot of bad news lately. I have also had to receive a lot of bad news myself lately with all my cancer battle stuff.

Most of the news I have had to give has been heartbreaking because the scenario was scarily familiar: women who hadn’t had regular care in many years and finally made their way to me. I had to be the one to drop the verbal bomb on them about something that was probably either preventable or vastly more treatable with earlier detection and treatment that could have come with routine, regular care.

So, what is the best way to go about giving bad news? I feel like this is something that we are never really taught in a meaningful way in medical school. I have not seen any significant study proven data that describe exactly how to do it. Most of the techniques that I use have come from my own experiences as a patient and the experiences that I have with my patients.

The first thing I would like to emphasize is that you really need to put the time in to know your patient. You need to know much more than the details of their history and their diagnosis. You need to take the time to know them as a person. You need to have an appreciation of their life situation and the availability, if any, of any family or friend support. You have to at least have an idea of what they are ready to handle and digest in terms of information about their diagnosis. Not every person is the same. Not every person is ready to hear the complete blunt truth all at once. Some need to hear things in phases and parts. Some need to hear it all at once. You need to figure out which is which.

Please, do not attempt to commiserate with the patient by saying things like ” I totally know how you feel…or I completely understand what you are going through.” There is a 99 percent chance that that is not true, unless you literally have gone through the exact same thing. It almost is kind of an insult to the patient and minimizes what they are going through without you meaning to. It is much better to say something like…”Of course I can’t possibly fully understand what you are going through, but I am going to do my best to help you get through it. or…”.I know this news is hitting you very hard right now, but I want you to take a minute to take it in and let me help you figure out what direction to go next.”

It is essential to get the patient actively involved in their care. This sounds obvious, but you would be amazed at how often a patient gets almost immediately lost in the shuffle of the “team process” without actually being able to be the captain of their own team. This is absolutely crucial. This is the very first stage of empowerment for the patient that has to be initiated as soon as possible. This is the beginning of the way to help them see their way through their diagnosis. I am always puzzled at doctors that are wary of patients that are knowledgeable and want to be involved in their care. I personally feel that this is the ultimate blessing and one of the best probability indicators of success and survival. We physicians should never be unnerved by this. We as physicians need to realize that our roles are as team members and advisors with experience, never patriarchal dictators of patient care regardless of patient input.

Just some food for thought guys.

Dr. Katz

Running mundane errands this morning

Ok so I woke up today on a Friday morning and realized I had the day off…First win of the day! Then, I realized that I was going to get to go to the fruit and veggie market and the grocery store..by MYSELF…driving my OWN CAR! Whaaaat? You are probably asking yourself….so, what’s the big deal? Well, the big deal is that something like that has not happened in like 8 months. 8 months of hospital prison, chemo, stem cell craziness, sepsis, isolation and just trying to make it out alive! This realization hit me like a kind of freight train out of nowhere, but in a good way. I was overcome with the sense of freedom and joy. I could not wait to carry out my little mundane tasks like a regular mom and wife with no risks or fears.

I practically trotted out to my car and literally patted her like we hadn’t seen each other in a long time. I jumped in and buckled my seat belt and blasted the AC DC and the Led Zeppelin with my McDonalds fountain coke in hand and jammed it out all the way to the fruit and veggie market. I was actually the first in line as the doors open. Of course, I was still careful and had my hand sanitizer in hand and my mask on, but I didn’t care! I was actually out by myself and got there without having to get a ride from someone. The fruit and veggie mart was cold like walking into a refrigerator. Lots of people were complaining. Not me! I can’t remember the last time I was cold and not just overheating. My little bald self was bouncin around that market like I had never been there. I even found myself humming a little tune. I think I amused the check out lady because she commented,” Having a good day are we?” I said ” We certainly are! I haven’t been out by myself in a very long time. I am super grateful.” I think I made her day, especially since everyone around me was complaining about the cold.

On the way home and to my next stop at the grocery store, I actually got misty eyed because I was so happy. I just couldn’t believe my good fortune at being able to do something this basic and simple. It’s amazing how much you forget enjoying the basics when you don’t get to do them for a long time. Well, on that overly happy sappy note, I bid all of you a wonderful day. Keep being grateful for what you have. Realize how good life can be before it slips away from you.

Dr. Katz