Month: January 2025

Tattoos

So, currently, I have like 7 tattoos. They are all beautiful. They are all significant. They are all very personal. I love every one of them and I love to gaze upon them every single day. Well, except for the one on my back. That is a little tougher to see…lol

Any way, I want to point out that I waited until I was 49 years old to get my first one. I had literally been pondering it for like 20 years. I had always been taught that tattoos were not ok. I was taught that only dangerous and scary people had them and they could not be trusted. I was definitely taught that no doctor had any business having them. So, I kind of agonized with my secret curiosity and fascination with them for literally over 20 years.

So, one day, I decided enough of what everyone else might think. I decided that I was going to take my daughter with me and get my first one. Ever the fan of a social experiment, I purposely showed up at the tattoo shop waving my blonde hair and wearing my pink scrubs. You could almost hear an audible sign of disgust and here we go with this crazy chick who is not going to make it through this. I snickered to myself and proceeded anyway and guess what?! Not only did I make it through my first one, but I went on and got 6 more over the next three years, only taking breaks for my cancer battles…lol

I am told that I was the only person my first artist actually enjoyed working on. He was a big consumate tough angry guy who actually looked forward to me coming in. Apparently the whole shop would breathe a sign of relief when they knew I was having an appointment. Well, that is a true compliment if I ever heard one.

After my guy retired, I found a new unown, completed unexpected artist. I noticed right away, despite her lack of experience, that she had an unprecedented talent in multiple different genres. I was hooked right away. I have been waiting for the last year through this most current battle, but I am already planning the next one with her.

Do you know what else? I was always told that there was no way that doctors should ever have tattoos. They were supposedly a potential cause for non-hiring or firing! Well, fortunately, I finally stopped worrying about that and got some anyway. I actually seemed to attract even more patients because my tattoos somehow made me more attainable as a person. Seems like it was a win all around.

So all you peeps out there with tats. I am a fan and I am right there with you!

Dr. Katz

I know you’ve all been wondering anyway.

I know you have been wondering how in the heck I got to be me. It has been implied that there are a large amount of background stories contributing to this evolution of mine. Welp, you are about to hear some of them!

That’s right folks. My autobiography is about to launch into publication. I even wrote enough to achieve a hardcover edition! My publishers tell me that they have already nominated it for a national book honor for best biography. I am so humbled and flattered by this that I about burst into tears when I heard it.

I hope you all get a chance to read it when it comes out. I want to be very clear about a couple of things. This is not meant to be a tattle tale tell-all. This is meant to be a peak into some of the stories and adventures I have been through and that have helped shape me into who I am. The main point of writing the book in the first place was to try to finish processing some of those memories and hopefully show everyone how it is possible to make the choice to end up a good human regardless of what happens to you.

There are ways to extract good out of many different circumstances. I am not talking about being a doormat or kidding yourself and not trying to get out of a bad situation. I am not talking about not advocating for yourself. There are amazing nuggets and moments and some not so amazing moments as well. I hope you all enjoy, learn, and hopefully be empowered by it. Happy Reading!

Dr. Katz

The next follow up scan is less than a month away. Here comes the apparently mandatory but super unpleasant and unnecessary freaking out.

Here we go again. Another scan is coming up. How many times have I done this? well, a lot. And every single time I start to notice the feeling of unecessary fear creeping up on me. Every twinge panics me. Every tingle freaks me out. Every sense of unexpected weakness scares me.

Seriously? Enough already. I know it’s nonsense. I actually know what it is and can, if I reach back really hard to life before cancer, I can recall feeling these exact same things and they were absolutely NOTHING to worry about. How I miss those days. Granted, I do pretty well most of the time now over six months out, but those close to the next scan times are tricky. Despite all the therapy in the world and all the work put into calming, I still get nervous and icky. So, I sit myself down and purge it all out by writing to all of you. Somewhere in my head I am telling myself that I can turn my feelings and strategies into some kind of validation, encouragement or hope for those of you out there that might be in the same situation. I hear you guys. This post cancer and scan ptsd stuff is real. Make sure that you are taking care of yourself. Make sure that you are taking a step back and allowing yourself some time to acclimate. Make sure you are taking the time you need to try to heal, no matter how long it takes. There is no set timeline. Everyone is different with different levels of strength and resilience. We will all get there, to that station of calm and peace, at least sometimes. Other times, we just have to try our best. It’s all we can do.

Dr. Katz

Do you actually understand what addiction or substance abuse disorder means?

I just had a long term former substance disorder patient turned warrior and full fledged citizen of llife and family and work. She spent years on crack cocaine and it destroyed her life, her job options, her home, her family, and her health. Her once bright appearance became unrecognizable. The good news is that three years ago now, with prompting by her parents who had not yet given up on her, offered her a place to live in exchange for getting help. You know what, she got that help and three years later she is independent, has her own apartment, and her own job and comes into my office smiling with make up on. It is amazing to witness.

it really got me to thinking a lot about addiction and substance abuse disorder. I thought about all the misconceptions that I have heard about it and all the judgement that I have heard about it. Let me take a minute to explain what it really is.

Sadly I have a lot of personal experience with this with patients and I make it a point to listen to their stories in detail, always hoping that I can grab something from one of them that could be used to inspire another patient in trouble.

Let’s first define addiction. The definition of addiction is the fact or conditions of being addicted to a particular substance, thing, or activity. I know, using a word to define itself right? An addiction can also be referred to as a dependence, craving, habit, weakness, compulsion, fixation, or enslavement to a particular substance, thing, or activity. You get the point though, correct? It implies an unhealthy deep attachment to anything.
Now let’s talk about substance abuse disorder. the definition of substance use disorder is the persistent use of drugs despite substantial harm and adverse consequences to oneself and or others. This often described in laymen’s terms as drug or alcohol abuse.

So, you see they both go together. They can’t really exist without each other, but yet they are not the same thing.

Theses are devious bad buddies people. When people often think of addiction, they get either judgy or uncomfortable. They tend to be afraid of or look down on those patients and people, either because they just don’t understand it or they have had some personal bad experience.

I get it, if you have been the victim of a crime perpetrated by someone under the influence of drugs or alcohol, it can be both terrifying and very serious and something that it hard to get. Short of that, most of the judging or condescending toward addiction patients is just a lack of understanding,

This is not me saying that there are basic codes of conduct that should be followed by any human being. No. Not at all. I am just trying to make sure that this particular disease is better understood.

Wait? Did I say disease? Yep I did. Addiction is truly a form of disease with multiple components not unlike diabetes or hypertension. You could tell yourself, there is no way that someone made a choice to be diabetic or hypertensive and an addicted person did! Well, actually, in a way, genetics aside, sometimes people have made choices to gain weight or make other unhealthy decisions that led them to those diagnoses in the first place and once the anatomical changes are in place, serious measures have to be taken to attempt to correct them and ensure a longer life.

Well, whaddya know. The same kind of principles apply to addiction. Addiction has multiple components. There may in fact be a genetic susctibility. There may be environmental factors. There may be stimulating traumas that lead people to try to find a mental way out and they pick the worst one. Last time I checked, no addicts that I have come to know just sat down one day and decided to shoot up heroin out of nowhere. That initial terrible decision came from a variety of different sources and triggers the majority of the time.

Like with any disease, once addiction has rooted itself in the brain, it literally changes the brain anatomy, It literally causes the formation of a whole new shortcut pathway of dopamine to the nucleus accumbens in the brain. This decreases and intensifies the perception of the pleasure response, while also shortening the duration at which it lasts. This is a terrible double-edged sword and even for those who maintain recovery status, there is a risk of that new path always being there, hence the forever fight against cravings and temptation.

Like with any disease, it requires a certain level of readiness before recovery can even become an entertainable option, just like hypertension and diabetes. I have patients every day that are not ready to actualize that they have these conditions and it is incredibly difficult to help them until they are ready. Unfortunately, addiction carries the extra weight of ruining all the patient’s relationships and job opportunities all around them so many people suffer, not just the patient. That is a way that addiction is definitely worse and potentially more powerful.

My whole point and the most important bottom line is to offer a least a slight pause of understanding for the addicted patient. They do need help and hopefully they are willing to receive it. They have to understand going in that it will require a lifetime of strength, resistance and fortitude. It is not a job or a task that is completed in a day. There are multiple steps every single day to keep the train on track so to speak. It is no easy task, but it can potentially save their lives.

Have a great day everyone. There are potential heros at heart everywhere.

Dr. Katz

Settle in pookies cuz grandma’s got a life lesson comin at ya…free of charge!

Yes yes. I am a grandma. A grandma of three in fact. All awesome, intelligent, creative individuals. I am so happy that one of my roles in life is to teach them good things, not just to yell and punish. Well heck, actually I want to teach the whole world good things, not just them. Chose to listen. Don’t chose to listen. The choice is up to you. But, I’m tellin ya I do have a few gems of wisdom up my sleeve from a couple of decades of experience.

First things first, I have been told lately that I talk a lot of shit about people. Hmmm. shit. I say nay nay to that. I actually just tell the truth that some are not quite ready to hear about themselves. Let me explain the difference.

To talk shit about someone. What exactly does that mean? Let’s refer to the almighty websters dictionary and find out. Here we go. To talk shit is to untruthfully speak of another in a belittling, deprecative, slighting manner, either in person or in absentia. In other words, it means spreading lies about private business, often in secret, when the person of interest is not there, because you don’t have the cahones to say it to their face. Why don’t you have the cahones? Well because the crap you are saying is not even true.

Ah I see. Now let take a look at what I do. Personally, I do not have the time or the inclination to talk shit about anyone. I have enough on my plate and enough positive goals to accomplish to bother with that kind of foolishness. It is ridiculous and small-minded and is nothing but a sign of ultimate insecurity and that kind of talk is being used to give the person a kind of false sense of empowerment or confidence. Yeah nope, not for me.

On the other hand, in the appropriate, or at least attempt to be appropriate, situation there are hard truths that need to be confronted and revealed. Those situations aren’t any less popular of course, but at least they are not lies. They are difficult and a lot of times the person that they apply to is not ready to hear them, but at least they are, in fact, true.

Having said that, I am going to try to continue to work on this. I think I have become a bit sassier of the mouth since this brain cancer stuff, with a side of occasional Keppra rage. I will work on it I promise. Sometimes I have this fear in the back of my head that my time will run out and I won’t have the opportunity to correct a wrong or bring an injustice to light. This is all true, but I have to realize that not everyone is ready for this. I have to make sure to adjust my pace and proceed accordingly.

Hopefully this has cleared up for everyone the difference between talking shit and telling the truth. Please enjoy this newly enlightened wisdom and I will work on my mouthiness. Have a fantastic day everyone.

Dr. Katz

So, I just had this huge anniversary

Guys, do you realize that just over a year ago I was unconscious, in a coma, filled with brain tumor and swelling. Like, literally, gone from the world, no verbal communication, gone. That was Dec 11th 2023.

Wow! How time has passed. I cannot really say flown because believe you me, nothing has been fast. It has been hard, grueling, painful, lonely, exhausting, but not really fast per se. But, look at me now. My business survived. I retained all of my employees and made sure that their incomes were not impacted. I managed not to lose any of my equipment or my home. I have even managed to write two more books in the meantime! And, I finally managed to start paying myself some after like four years of mostly not doing it.

Sounds like all wins so far, but not gifts. These are all hard-earned achievements that took a lot of blood, sweat, tears, grit, determination, and positivity. I was not really given anything, but I didn’t expect to be either. I knew the road ahead. I had been through it before. Here’s hoping for some more lengthy time off in the future.

I have friends that are amazing and want to make sure to praise me for how far I have come. That is awesome and they are awesome. At the exact same time, I want someone to recognize me and all that I have survived and been through and throw me a big party that doesn’t involve raising money for my survival and is just for fun, I want to forget the whole thing and pretend it never happened in the first place. When I actually sit and allow myself to reflect for a minute, I go right back to the moments of fear and not knowing and wondering if I was even going to be able to get to stay on this planet at all. Those memories turn on you fast before you know it. I am never going to be upset at my friends for congratulating me. They are just trying to be the amazing people that they are. I am just admitting that it scares me at the same time. Like, what if it happens again? You know, all the fearful dready thoughts that mix in with the happy celebrations. I guess that is just the way that it is at the moment. Thank goodness for therapy on a regular basis to keep your head on straight.

The bottom line is that I will never stop being grateful for still being here and getting just to be alive. I will never stop trying to use my now functional brain for good and to help women and girls and hairy men( ya know the ones I do laser hair removal for?) everywhere and every day. I just have to realize that is also ok to sit back and take a minute if I need to pause for some memories or anxiety. It’s a normal response. I don’t have to be constantly busy and productive. I am still of use to the world even if I am not doing twenty things at once in case it’s my last chance to do so. Take it easy there Katzie, you are going to continue to be ok. It’s your time to shine now.

Dr. Katz