Hey there. Dr. Katz here. There is something I just need to get off my chest. First off I wanna say I get it. The last four years have been an on and off hell status due to crazy health stuff. I realize that we have all put each other through worrying and sleepless nights. I also realize that we have taken turns wondering if the other person was even going to live. This is all crazy intense stuff with lots of after effects, heightened and sometimes unnecessary worry, and a periodic sensation of waiting for the other shoe to drop. Yep. It’s all true. We have been through things that other families might not even survive from.
Yet, here we are, still plugging along every day. I for one am incredibly grateful and I feel blessed. I actually get to get out of bed every morning and know that I actually have another chance to stare at the sky and face whatever experiences are coming. It is no longer a feeling of drudgery or fear each day. Yes, I still have some remaining worries and fears, but I am more able to push through them.
I feel ready to thrive and embrace every single moment, probably with an intensity that most people could not match. Yes, I understand that too. With the help of a great deal of therapy I have finally realized that that is ok! If I feel like taking on a challenge or participating in an activity, it is ok if I go for it even if the people around me aren’t ready. That is not the equivalent of me actually excluding people. It just means that I am ready to move forward and cherish every moment and experience that I get. The bottom line is, I am going to make a promise to myself to no longer feel guilty for my need to take advantage of every single experience old or new. I will still keep inviting everyone along and hope that they want to metaphorically come. But, if they don’t, that’s ok too. They are just moving at a different pace. Right now the singular thing on my mind still lingers at the forefront and in the back. If I don’t capitalize on any opportunity that interests me, there is a chance that I might not get it back. So, onward I go and I welcome anyone to join me at any time.
Dr. Katz