Let’s talk about Women of Hope

I’m coming up on my two year anniversary and I am nervous.

Just think, two years ago my friends and family were throwing a benefit for my brain cancer and now today, I am playing in a concert instead!

It’s not really true that it’s over. The facts of being a cancer patient.

The next scan is coming up…again

Guys, I can’t help it. There is like a little internal panic clock that starts ticking once I get within 2 weeks to a month of my next scan. I know they are all necessary. I also know that I have no concrete symptoms to tell me that anything is wrong. And yet, I still go off the rails somewhat. I swear to god I start having or making up some symptoms just due to anxiety. I know, that sounds ridiculous, but it is true so I might as well admit it. I have gotten much better about calming myself down without pharmaceutical assistance tho, so that part is good.

Do any of you out there who have or have battled cancer before go through this? I know the answer is probably yes but I am just asking anyway. How do you deal with it? I am wondering to myself if it will ever go away. I have yet to actually make it to a 5 year post cancer mark with either of my cancers. I am almost there from my first cancer in 2021, but still not quite yet. It’s interesting that I hardly ever think about that one like it’s old news or something. It was still serious but very treatable. It’s almost as if the most recent brain cancer that I had overshadowed everything. Even tho it, too, was treatable thank goodness.

I have had many people tell me that I have no right to call myself lucky since I have had two cancers. I have had many people tell me that at least I had ” the good kind” of cancers. I am not always sure how to filter that input so I just end up smiling and nodding, and then walking in the other direction. As I have had time to think about it, I think that my own personal take on it is a combination of those two inputs.

Yes, I do think that I am lucky that I was able to successfully battle both of those cancers. I think of myself more in terms of a warrior than a survivor, because I do not think that my ongoing vigilance will ever truly be over. I will always have to be on the look out, recent stem cell transplant do over not withstanding. I know that sounds crazy to say and seems like I am not celebrating at all, but actually I am celebrating. I celebrate every single day the fact that I get to wake up in the morning, open my eyes and realize the world around me.

As far as the having the good kind of cancer part, I am not really sure what that would be. I do not think the words good and cancer belong in the same sentence. I would definitely go with the word treatable though. That kind of thinking sometimes sends me in the wrong direction. I start belittling the kinds of cancer that I had because I was able to conquer them when other do not. I know I shouldn’t do this. I realize that the battles I fought successfully were extremely difficult and that nothing should be taken away from them just because I survived. Each cancer battle is it’s own challenging and potentially vicious beast. The strategy that I have chosen to take when I find myself minimizing what I have been through is to throw myself into empowering, helping, and supporting others with cancer. I think it is my best strategy at this point.

So, to all of you out there who have battled, are battling, or know someone who is battling cancer, I sent out all my positive, empowering, and strategizing energy to you. If there is anything that you need or any way you think I could help, I will.

Have a fantastic day everyone.

Dr. Katz

Bubbling over

I am just sitting here before going to the office, dogs by my side, sun shining and birds chirping. I just complete an order for my office for supplies with no issue. I am looking at my bank account and we are finally doing ok after years of struggle.

It has been a tough four years. I have battled two cancers and then advocated and helped save my husband’s life in between those two cancers. I have struggled financially, digging out whatever personal credit card I could find while I was managing two businesses from my hospital bed and trying to do whatever I could to make sure my employees were ok.

All …completely…worth…it. I know some people would say why did you do that? Well, because I wanted to find whatever way I could to ensure that something was there to come back to when I was well again. Yes, I incurred a lot of extra debt along the way, but now, I get to be healthy and I get to still have a work place to go to to take care of women of all ages every single day. This is a real hard earned/blessing combo. I realize that it required an extraordinary amount of effort and creative thinking in addition to the cancer battles.

But, here I am now, sitting here enjoying even the tiniest of successes. Everything has elevated in importance and significance. I realize that I already knew this before, but I cannot deny that my investment in health, safety, joy, family, and success has magnified. I am so happy that I still get to be here to experience it. I had an eagle fly over me the other day, which is yet another potential indicator of success and good fortune. I’ll take it!

Have an amazing day everyone.

Dr. Katz

I’m trying to thrive!

Hey there. Dr. Katz here. There is something I just need to get off my chest. First off I wanna say I get it. The last four years have been an on and off hell status due to crazy health stuff. I realize that we have all put each other through worrying and sleepless nights. I also realize that we have taken turns wondering if the other person was even going to live. This is all crazy intense stuff with lots of after effects, heightened and sometimes unnecessary worry, and a periodic sensation of waiting for the other shoe to drop. Yep. It’s all true. We have been through things that other families might not even survive from.

Yet, here we are, still plugging along every day. I for one am incredibly grateful and I feel blessed. I actually get to get out of bed every morning and know that I actually have another chance to stare at the sky and face whatever experiences are coming. It is no longer a feeling of drudgery or fear each day. Yes, I still have some remaining worries and fears, but I am more able to push through them.

I feel ready to thrive and embrace every single moment, probably with an intensity that most people could not match. Yes, I understand that too. With the help of a great deal of therapy I have finally realized that that is ok! If I feel like taking on a challenge or participating in an activity, it is ok if I go for it even if the people around me aren’t ready. That is not the equivalent of me actually excluding people. It just means that I am ready to move forward and cherish every moment and experience that I get. The bottom line is, I am going to make a promise to myself to no longer feel guilty for my need to take advantage of every single experience old or new. I will still keep inviting everyone along and hope that they want to metaphorically come. But, if they don’t, that’s ok too. They are just moving at a different pace. Right now the singular thing on my mind still lingers at the forefront and in the back. If I don’t capitalize on any opportunity that interests me, there is a chance that I might not get it back. So, onward I go and I welcome anyone to join me at any time.

Dr. Katz

Cancer Awareness Months

There are many different cancer awareness months with focused awareness on certain cancers. January is cervical cancer awareness month. February is Nation Cancer Prevention Month and Gallbladder and Bile Duct Cancer awareness month. March is Colorectal Cancer awareness month and Multiple Myeloma Awareness month. April is Esophageal, Head and Neck Cancer and Testicular Cancer Awareness month. May is National Cancer Research Month, May is also Bladder Cancer, Melanoma, Brain, and Skin Cancer Awareness month. June is National Cancer Survivor Month. July is Sarcoma and Bone Cancer Awareness month. August is Appendix Cancer Awareness month. September covers a lot of cancer awareness. It is Childhood Cancer, Leukemia, Lymphoma, Ovarian, Prostate, and Thyroid Cancer Awareness month. October is Breast and Liver Cancer Awareness month. November is Neuroendocrine Tumors, Gastric, Lung, and Pancreatic Cancer Awareness month. Somehow December is not any kind of cancer awareness month.

These are all well and good and should be acknowledged. As a two-time cancer warrior, I guess I would fall into the May and September category, having had lymphoma and brain cancer. Whenever I see postings about these months, I try to educate people and patients about the particular cancer that the month concentrates on. Still, I believe that there are so many additional unmentioned cancers that also deserve attention. I realize while saying this that it would be impossible to list them all. I get that. I guess what I am really trying to say is that cancer is something that we should remain vigilant for and attempt to screen for and diagnosis every single day, not just for a month or a day or a year.

As patient I realize that my particular battles and surveillance will never ever really be over for good. I will always have to be vigilant and follow up. This is why I even stay away from the word survivor because it implies a kind of finality that I don’t really think I have the luxury or confidence to truly embrace. That is ok. I am so happy just to still exist that the lifetime of surveillance does not trouble me. I plan to be in it for the long haul and whatever I have to do to help make that happen, I am in!

Digest these thoughts for a bit and have an amazing and grateful day!

Dr. Katz