Woke up smiling

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All these potentially fantastic things are evolving, and still they are overshadowed by my worry about my upcoming scan.

I know what you are thinking. Stop it already! You know that your next scan will likely be ok. You have no symptoms, besides the occasional panicking about something that is actually completely normal if you stretched back into your memory of life before cancers. Remember, regular twinges or the occasional floater in your eye are normal in your 50s! Stop freaking out. These are the kind of daily internal conversations that I have with myself in the month before each and every scan.

To be honest, I have had months of normal scans in a row so far. I went the extra thousand miles and had the stem cell transplant on top of everything. That is supposed to provide the possiblity of 30 years cancer free. That is really amazing and tantalizing to think about.

But, still, the pattern of worry continues. It doesn’t seem to really get to me until the month before the scan. This next one is coming up on Feb 19th so yep, I am smack in the middle of the month before.
If I take a step back, which I make myself do daily, I remind myself that I am now biking up to 10 miles a day, able to balance on one toe if I wanted to,having no night blindness, and not crashing into windows with my head. I am very likely to be ok…lol But man, I just need to see that scan report to believe that it is true.

All kinds of amazing things are evolving. I have a trip coming up. I have published four books. The last of my huge business debts are fading away. My family is healthy. All good stuff coming up. I am making the conscious choice to try to focus on those things instead. I really am.

The bottom line is, this scan-xiety stuff is for the birds. It is not very nice and it stays with you for years after cancer. It just is what it is. I am doing my best to deal with it and still try to live a full life at the same time, without acting like every single minute could be my last. Living life to the fullest is a good thing. Living life like it could be your last moment ever is kind of harsh. For right now, I am falling somewhere in-between and I keep hoping, and going to therapy, that this too shall pass.

Have a great day guys.

Dr. Katz

Let’s talk about genetic cancer syndromes

Did you know that less than 5 percent of cancer is hereditary i.e passed down through families? Most of it is sporadic and just occurs randomly. I am not sure if this is reassuring or scary. I am still deciding. I myself have had two cancers, none of which run in my family.

Let’s first talk about what a genetic cancer syndrome is. A genetic cancer syndrome is a condition that increases the risk of developing certain cancers and is passed down through generations of family members.

Here are some examples

Hereditary breast and ovarian cancer syndrome- this is self explanatory. It causes increased risk of breast and ovarian cancer and involves the BRACA1 and BRACA2 genes

Lynch Syndrome- this is a common cause of hereditary colon cancer, but can increase the risk of many other cancers as well

Li-Fraumeni syndrome- this increases the risk of breast cancer, bone cancer, brain tumors, and other soft tissue tumors

Cowden Syndrome- This increases the risk of noncancerous tumors, thyroie cancer, breast cancer, and uterine cancer

Familial adenomatous polyposis- This increases the risk of developing multiple colon polyps which can lead to colon cancer

Peutz-Jeghers syndrome- This increases the risk of cancer of the gi tract and other organs

Heredotary paraganglioma-pheochromocytoma syndrome- This increases the risk of development of benign tumors in the paraganglia. These are specific cells in the nervous system.

Von Hippel-Lindau disease- This is a rare condition that predisposes people to benign and malignant tumors especially in the central nervous system and retina.

Most of these are autosomal dominant inheritance. That means a single copy of the gene can predispose the individual to developing these cancers. Fortunately, these powerful mutations are actually on the rare side, but are very serious when they are present.

So, does it have to be an automatic death sentence to be diagnosed with one of these? No, it doesn’t have to be. Believe it or not, getting this news does not have to mean life is over. There are very specific screening protocols that can be instituted to prolong and save lives. But, you have to get the diagnosis established first to get started.

How do you get the diagnosis in the first place? Family and medical history screening is the first key element. There are significant screening questionnnaires that can be scored and scores above a certain level warrant genetic screening. The genetic screening can determine which genes are involved.

What kinds of things are we looking for in a family history? At the minimum, a personal history of cancer, a first and second degree relative history of cancer. You also have to evaluate the ethnicity of the patient. For example, Ashkenazi Jewish descent patients have a strong risk of genetic cancer syndromes. You need to look at the age of diagnosis as well. The earlier the cancer is diagnosed, the more the potential risk. Here are other things to look for

Cancer at a very young age or less than 50 for breast, ovarian or colon cancer

Several diff types of cancer in one person

Multiple primary tumors especially in the same organ

Several close blood relatives with the same kind of cancer

Unusual cancer presentation such as breast cancer in a male

All this is legitimately scary stuff, but the good news is that there are things we can do about it! There are prophylactic measures to take and altered screening protocols that can actually save and prolong lives. I have multiple patients in my own practice who have taken advantage of these protocols and are all still alive as their relatives continue to perish around them. My vote is to pay attention, get the information and take action. It could save your life!

Dr. Katz

They say my personality has changed

I am told as of late that my personality has changed. I have become more irritable, a little shorter in temper, and I tend to say what needs to be said whether someone is ready to hear it or not.

I have a few different theories on why this is happening. Before I go on, I want to make it clear that I am making active strides not to evolve into a butthole in therapy as well. Just wanted you to know. Theory number one is that I battled not one but two cancers in the last three years. The most recent one was brain cancer for chrissake. Literally at one point in time not more than a year ago my brain was over half overtaken by tumor and swelling. I have to believe that that leaves some long-term changes behind, despite how far I have come from that point. I did a hell of lot of hard work, perserverence, suffering, and fear-battling in addition to battling the cancers. I was at everyone else’s mercy at any one point in time. A girl gets impatient with even the littler things after awhile because you just want something to go your way at some point. Things get out of proportion.

In terms of my second theory, I got put on Keppra for the intense seizure activity and I am still on it. Well I am here to tell ya the list of side effects from Keppra are like a mile long and a ton of them are psychological like depression, anxiety, and irritability. The term Keppra rage has been quoted to me by multiple patients. Ok, I am willing to admit that this could be a factor as well and I am hoping that my upcoming EEG will reveal that maybe I can start weaning off it since the reason I was put on it in the first place is not really valid anymore. Fingers crossed but no worries. I am not about to do anything stupid that would result in me not being able to drive or do anything for myself.

My third theory is that just maybe I have finally gotten old enough and have been through enough that I have lost the infinite patience I used to have for BS and crap. I just don’t feel like i have the time to deal with it anymore. This is not me saying I have decided to stop listening anymore. Absolutely not. I also realize that everyone’s perception of what is truly painful or impactful is very different. I know I have to allow for that variation.

The bottom line is I may in fact be a little crabbier and a little less tolerant, but I think it is all explainable. I am trying my best to remain myself and spread as much positivity, empowerment, and good into the world as I can. I can promise you I will faithfully keep up these efforts. Just bare with me for now if you could. I appreciate it.

Dr. Katz

So, I just had this huge anniversary

Guys, do you realize that just over a year ago I was unconscious, in a coma, filled with brain tumor and swelling. Like, literally, gone from the world, no verbal communication, gone. That was Dec 11th 2023.

Wow! How time has passed. I cannot really say flown because believe you me, nothing has been fast. It has been hard, grueling, painful, lonely, exhausting, but not really fast per se. But, look at me now. My business survived. I retained all of my employees and made sure that their incomes were not impacted. I managed not to lose any of my equipment or my home. I have even managed to write two more books in the meantime! And, I finally managed to start paying myself some after like four years of mostly not doing it.

Sounds like all wins so far, but not gifts. These are all hard-earned achievements that took a lot of blood, sweat, tears, grit, determination, and positivity. I was not really given anything, but I didn’t expect to be either. I knew the road ahead. I had been through it before. Here’s hoping for some more lengthy time off in the future.

I have friends that are amazing and want to make sure to praise me for how far I have come. That is awesome and they are awesome. At the exact same time, I want someone to recognize me and all that I have survived and been through and throw me a big party that doesn’t involve raising money for my survival and is just for fun, I want to forget the whole thing and pretend it never happened in the first place. When I actually sit and allow myself to reflect for a minute, I go right back to the moments of fear and not knowing and wondering if I was even going to be able to get to stay on this planet at all. Those memories turn on you fast before you know it. I am never going to be upset at my friends for congratulating me. They are just trying to be the amazing people that they are. I am just admitting that it scares me at the same time. Like, what if it happens again? You know, all the fearful dready thoughts that mix in with the happy celebrations. I guess that is just the way that it is at the moment. Thank goodness for therapy on a regular basis to keep your head on straight.

The bottom line is that I will never stop being grateful for still being here and getting just to be alive. I will never stop trying to use my now functional brain for good and to help women and girls and hairy men( ya know the ones I do laser hair removal for?) everywhere and every day. I just have to realize that is also ok to sit back and take a minute if I need to pause for some memories or anxiety. It’s a normal response. I don’t have to be constantly busy and productive. I am still of use to the world even if I am not doing twenty things at once in case it’s my last chance to do so. Take it easy there Katzie, you are going to continue to be ok. It’s your time to shine now.

Dr. Katz

Sitting here quietly

Just sitting here quietly on Christmas morning, listening to my gentle music Christmas blend, snuggling with my dogs. I am taking a moment to soak it all in. It just dawned on me this is the first Christmas in like three years that I am not either waiting for a terrible health diagnosis or in between cancers. Wow! That just hit me like a soothing wave of calm, mixed with excitement and relaxation in the mundane all at the same time. Yesterday I was doing my regular old last minute Christmas eve grocery shopping and I couldn’t have been happier. The business, the franticness of the other customers didn’t even phase me. I was so frickin happy to be shopping for my family like a normal wife and mother that I think I was practically skipping through the store. I know it sounds silly, but gosh I have been waiting for this feeling for a long time now. I am finally allowing myself to enjoy it, now seven months after discharge from my last hospital stay.

I know I am just really heady right now but I am soaking it up. Everyone deserves this kind of peace, even if just for a moment. Who knows if everything could revert back to unholy crap. Well, maybe it could. That’s how life goes. But, for now, I will just sit here with a smile on my face and let it sink in.

Have a wonderful holiday everyone! Sending many peaceful and joyous vibes.

Dr. Katz

At least I had a tangible enemy

Ok brace yourself. I am going to say something that is initially going to sound a little crazy, but just bear with me. I actually consider myself lucky that cancer was my battle to fight. I know a ton of people right now going through things with as yet discovered causes and no specific direction or plan. It is an awful way to exist. The discomfort, the suffering, the lack of answers, the whole nine yards. The fear of the unknown is a real thing. I think it literally is an impediment to healing.

I am hear to tell ya, that my cancer was no picnic. To say that I am lucky sounds ridiculous to say. I get it that I am not lucky that I had cancer, twice in two years. Yes I know. What I mean to say more purposefully is that at least my demon was described and known and right in front of me, allowing me to have a definite target to tackle. It was terrifying for sure, but at least I had the privilege of knowing what I was fighting. It intensified my focus and enhanced my hope that there might be an end to the tunnel. Everybody I know right now that is battling does not have a set enemy in sight and no specific plan. Bottom line, I am sending out the discovery and healing vibes out to everyone I know that is battling right now. I am here if you need me. I am here to help strategize. I am here to help if you want me to.

Dr. Katz