Laura A. Katz MD, a board-certified obgyn talks about life, women's health, motherhood and the "sensitive subjects."
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Ok so I woke up today on a Friday morning and realized I had the day off…First win of the day! Then, I realized that I was going to get to go to the fruit and veggie market and the grocery store..by MYSELF…driving my OWN CAR! Whaaaat? You are probably asking yourself….so, what’s the big deal? Well, the big deal is that something like that has not happened in like 8 months. 8 months of hospital prison, chemo, stem cell craziness, sepsis, isolation and just trying to make it out alive! This realization hit me like a kind of freight train out of nowhere, but in a good way. I was overcome with the sense of freedom and joy. I could not wait to carry out my little mundane tasks like a regular mom and wife with no risks or fears.
I practically trotted out to my car and literally patted her like we hadn’t seen each other in a long time. I jumped in and buckled my seat belt and blasted the AC DC and the Led Zeppelin with my McDonalds fountain coke in hand and jammed it out all the way to the fruit and veggie market. I was actually the first in line as the doors open. Of course, I was still careful and had my hand sanitizer in hand and my mask on, but I didn’t care! I was actually out by myself and got there without having to get a ride from someone. The fruit and veggie mart was cold like walking into a refrigerator. Lots of people were complaining. Not me! I can’t remember the last time I was cold and not just overheating. My little bald self was bouncin around that market like I had never been there. I even found myself humming a little tune. I think I amused the check out lady because she commented,” Having a good day are we?” I said ” We certainly are! I haven’t been out by myself in a very long time. I am super grateful.” I think I made her day, especially since everyone around me was complaining about the cold.
On the way home and to my next stop at the grocery store, I actually got misty eyed because I was so happy. I just couldn’t believe my good fortune at being able to do something this basic and simple. It’s amazing how much you forget enjoying the basics when you don’t get to do them for a long time. Well, on that overly happy sappy note, I bid all of you a wonderful day. Keep being grateful for what you have. Realize how good life can be before it slips away from you.
Dr. Katz
To me, first and foremost, Easter is about the resurrection of Jesus. I get it. But, also for me, there is a lot of other things to celebrate on this day too. There has been so much rebirth everywhere. From the minute details of the daffodils blooming to the emergence of myself and my husband from illness to the rejuvenation of old relationships: there is a sense of fresh start everywhere.
Second chances are everywhere, if we take advantage of them. I think this applies not only to religion, but to life in general. I have to admit, there has been so much change to take in that sometimes it’s overwhelming as well as wonderful. I am sometimes not sure how to process it all. I make sure to never let it overwhelm my sense of gratitude, but I am noticing that there is still an underlying sense of anxiety and “waiting for the other shoe to drop” again in my every day life. It seems to be affecting my whole family as well. I think it’s just normal with everything we have been through lately.
I realize that I need to make a conscious effort to keep moving forward, and to help my family move forward with me. We need to make the absolute most of and learn from these second chances. We need to focus on what gives us joy, even if it is something as small as watching my grandchildren hunt for Easter eggs or as monumental as hearing that my latest scans are clear.
So, as you gather with family and friends today to celebrate our Lord, also take time to celebrate each other and life in general. Take nothing for granted. Embrace every opportunity. Learn from each other and your own mistakes. Savor every moment.
Have a happy and blessed Easter.
Dr. Katz
Sitting in chemo today
listening to the chatter
several elderly patients
back and forth discourse and discord.
I eavesdropped a little
hoping for a glimpse of wisdom.
Sadly, wisdom is not what I heard.
anger, stubbornness, self-destruction
That’s what I heard.
“They can’t tell me to quit smoking
just because I have lung cancer.”
“I’ll do what I want!”
“I’ve lived this long haven’t I ?
Why change now?”
My heavy heart sank and filled with despair.
there was no wisdom to gain here.
Misguided thought processes with lethal implications.
The Utilitarian in me asks why they are getting treatment?
The Judge asks if it’s.fair that they are taking a spot from someone willing to listen and change?
Their perception is foreign to me.
No one is forcing then to be there.
Is gratitude an unwelcome sentiment when there is a potentially life saving option?
I sit quietly, my grateful heart appreciating my doctor’s and nurses, celebrating my half way point.