Sitting in chemo today
listening to the chatter
several elderly patients
back and forth discourse and discord.
I eavesdropped a little
hoping for a glimpse of wisdom.
Sadly, wisdom is not what I heard.
anger, stubbornness, self-destruction
That’s what I heard.
“They can’t tell me to quit smoking
just because I have lung cancer.”
“I’ll do what I want!”
“I’ve lived this long haven’t I ?
Why change now?”
My heavy heart sank and filled with despair.
there was no wisdom to gain here.
Misguided thought processes with lethal implications.
The Utilitarian in me asks why they are getting treatment?
The Judge asks if it’s.fair that they are taking a spot from someone willing to listen and change?
Their perception is foreign to me.
No one is forcing then to be there.
Is gratitude an unwelcome sentiment when there is a potentially life saving option?
I sit quietly, my grateful heart appreciating my doctor’s and nurses, celebrating my half way point.
