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I successfully battled two cancers in three years, but this summer cold is kicking my butt.
Tag: virus
I finally got Covid
I have held off successfully for 2 and a half years. I have boosted. I have vaccinated. I faithfully wear my mask without complaint, except for the excessive sweating. I have done everything i can think of and still, it finally happened. Yes. It sucks. I am congested. My head is splitting from time to time. I am very congested. Exhaustion is my new middle name. Everything hurts. The cough is like…are you kidding me right now? Is it necessary to literally throw my back out with every hack? Sheesh. Everyone is worried with my heath history as of late. The doctor wants to throw the latest antiviral my way.
I am going to say something that will probably sound quite strange right now, but bear with me. There is a part of me that is kind of like, “Whew, that is finally over” right now. What I mean is, I feel like I have been living in fear for the last two and a half years, waiting on the precipice of this amorphous unknown monster called Covid. There are times when I would almost have a panic attack if I found out that I was exposed. Well, the wait is over. I can stop walking on eggshells. I just have to power through this incredibly shitty cold virus cousin. Now that I have something to relate to, provided that I DO get through this like I intend to, I feel like I can let go of some of the fear. I realize that this illness can be deadly, but so can even a cold for some people. Anything can be potentially deadly in the right( or wrong) patient. When I say that I am ready to let go of the fear, I do not mean let go of common sense. I am still going to mask up in crowds, even if I am overheated and miserable. Yes I will. Because I realize that, even if it looks like it might not kill me, I still don’t want to get it again if I can help it.
It’s Just a Little Tougher to Bounce Back Nowadays
Wow. I have to say that having cancer has brought about more change than I realized. I think I tried to partition the whole experience in my mind as a discrete entity with a finite beginning and end. It somehow made it easier to trudge through with a positive attitude when visualizing an actual light at the end of the tunnel.
After the end of chemo, I am slowly realizing that, while that visual was helpful, it was not necessarily realistic. My journey did not abruptly end when chemo did. As I have discussed before, there have been many after effects and pitfalls since and I am learning about new ones every day. Each one I try to embrace, while fighting the little chip on my shoulder that I have to deal with it in the first place.
Most recently, I got my first actual illness outside of chemo in the first two and a half years. Yes. It’s true. Now that I think about it, one little-publicized actual positive side effect of the pandemic has been that we all have had less of the regular sick season viruses, etc because we have been wearing our masks, not doing as much, washing our hands, trying to avoid sick people, and not touching our faces as often. Granted, some of these precautions (like hand washing) should not have been new additions to our routine. Nonetheless, they have all contributed to less routine sickness. Anyway, my point is, that I haven’t really been sick in over two years. So, when I got this crappy gi virus, it really through me for a loop. Number one, believe it or not, I wasn’t really used to being sick. ( I get it. That sounds ridiculous considering I just went through cancer and chemo.) Number two, I was that much more stressed out about the repercussions of missing work because the economic strain has been significant from all the previous missed work. Number 3, it hit me a lot harder than I remembered from previous illnesses. Number 3 is what got me the most. I am just not bouncing back as fast I think I should be. There are a lot of reasons why that could be true. One could be my loss of perspective on being sick outside of chemo. Another could be that chemo has left lasting side effects that keep my body from fighting off sickness as well. My kidneys are not working as well so I get dehydrated more easily. My thyroid is still dead so I get fatigued and my metabolism is altered. The list goes on. You get it though right? There are plenty of reasons for me to have trouble bouncing back from regular illness. So, I shouldn’t worry, obsess, and beat myself up about it. But, alas, I do. I get distracted and instead of doing things to help myself get better, I waste time feeling guilty about who I am letting down this time, as if I haven’t left enough people down with all the cancer stuff. It’s kind of a vicious cycle.
So, here’s the thing. What do I do about it? The fact of the matter is I am the only one that can do something about it. NO one is making me feel this way but me. The guilt is all mine. I have to make the decision to accept this one more thing about surviving cancer. There will be changes that last long after the cancer is gone. They are not my fault. They are not my punishment for things done wrong. They just are. I can chose to move forward…or I can chose to be held back by things that I cannot control. I say forward it is. Otherwise, my recent win was all for nothing.
Dr. Katz
How’re we doin?
Hi everybody! Shelter in place day 1. How’re we doin? I am feelin the panic from everyone. I even felt a little creeped out last night when I went for my walk and suddenly my phone was overtaken by a reminder of the executive order…complete with a notice about unnecessary travel being prohibited. It literally gave me the chills for a second, like I was in one of those weird future dystopia movies or something. Then, I shook it off. You know why? Because it is not really any different than what we were supposed to be doing anyway! I know what you’re going to say. Hey! Before we could still get take out and go to the mall, etc. Hey! This is even a bigger crush on small business. Yes. Yes. All that is true. My business is being severely affected too. I can’t do any surgery, unless it’s an absolute emergency. I can’t see any people that are sick who actually need me. They have to go through the ER or stay at home. I can basically only see well patients or OB patients, if I can even get them to come in. I am not immune to this process. The scary flipside is, that I also have to risk exposure to COVID everyday. If a COVID positive OB patient comes in, we still have to figure out how to deliver them safely with the least exposure to the least amount of people and keep their newborns safe as well.
However, if you think about it, we were already supposed to be restricting unnecessary trips and travel. We really should have been following our social distancing, not going to restaurants, not going to the movies, not going to the mall anyway. There was no dire need to get our nails done or go to the tanning salon. These are not basic life needs. Before you get all ruffly, let me explain what I mean about basic life needs. They are things that are life or death dependent. Your life or death does not depend on how brown you are or how good your nails look or if you got that extra candle or how gray your hair is ( Trust me, I am battling that one as we speak). It just doesn’t, if we are being honest. I am of the opinion that if we were truly following instructions in the first place, there would have been no need to issue an executive order. (Having said that, I also get that a politician’s need to appear like they are actively doing something in a crisis may, in fact, supersede the actual need for action.) If we hadn’t panicked and hoarded all paper products, in reaction to a virus whose main symptoms are NOT GI symptoms, except for a small percentage, those of us that have been working like crazy might have had an option to wipe our asses besides the wipe with the left, eat and shake hands with the right method. C’mon people! I am looking at all the fear-mongering, crazy Facebook posts. They are unnecessary. They are not helpful. They are not helping anyone get through this thing.
I took it upon myself to break down the governor’s executive order announcement into a less than five minute summary. I will do the same right now for you. Here are the main bullet points. Stay at home whenever possible. If you have an essential job (defined on the Michigan.gov website), you can go to and from work. Essential businesses are still open. You can go to get gas for your car. You can go to the pharmacy or grocery store. You can still get money. You can still go to the doctor or to the hospital if you need to. You can still go outside. You can still go for a walk. Maintain your social distance of 6 feet at all times. No crowds. Have meetings remotely. All your basic needs can still be met. Amazon is not shutting down like rumors have said.(JK, she didn’t really address that…lol..but it is true.) Don’t panic. Don’t hoard. That is it in nutshell…in two minutes or less. Let’s just all screw our heads back on properly and dig into our common sense reserves and we will get through this together! Have a fantastic day everyone!
Dr. Katz