I have held off successfully for 2 and a half years. I have boosted. I have vaccinated. I faithfully wear my mask without complaint, except for the excessive sweating. I have done everything i can think of and still, it finally happened. Yes. It sucks. I am congested. My head is splitting from time to time. I am very congested. Exhaustion is my new middle name. Everything hurts. The cough is like…are you kidding me right now? Is it necessary to literally throw my back out with every hack? Sheesh. Everyone is worried with my heath history as of late. The doctor wants to throw the latest antiviral my way.
I am going to say something that will probably sound quite strange right now, but bear with me. There is a part of me that is kind of like, “Whew, that is finally over” right now. What I mean is, I feel like I have been living in fear for the last two and a half years, waiting on the precipice of this amorphous unknown monster called Covid. There are times when I would almost have a panic attack if I found out that I was exposed. Well, the wait is over. I can stop walking on eggshells. I just have to power through this incredibly shitty cold virus cousin. Now that I have something to relate to, provided that I DO get through this like I intend to, I feel like I can let go of some of the fear. I realize that this illness can be deadly, but so can even a cold for some people. Anything can be potentially deadly in the right( or wrong) patient. When I say that I am ready to let go of the fear, I do not mean let go of common sense. I am still going to mask up in crowds, even if I am overheated and miserable. Yes I will. Because I realize that, even if it looks like it might not kill me, I still don’t want to get it again if I can help it.