My sense of time seems really off lately. And by lately, I mean the whole last 7 months or so. I have found myself having difficulty reconciling the fact that I have the appearance of more time, without actually being able to accomplish more. I keep thinking that I know that I have more time on my hands because I can’t run off and do half the things that I used to. My weekends are no longer taken up by sporting events, concerts, dinner outings, or much of anything really. That means I should be able to get all kinds of leftover crap done, doesn’t it. Yet, I find days going by lately when I feel like I didn’t really accomplish anything. How is that possible? Granted, I probably set myself up for failure with my overachieving list of goals to accomplish that significantly outpaces the number of available hours. I have to own that part. But, usually I can get at least some of it done. I spent a long time pondering this little puzzle with no helpful insights until now. I finally figured out where my thought process was going astray.
I was thinking negatively in terms of my lack of physical accomplishments and looking for concrete physical barricades to my goals. I hadn’t stopped to consider the mental barriers to productivity that we all have been suffering from lately. It really hasn’t been about the lack of time. In truth, with the lack of activities available, I have had more physical time to accomplish more things: I just haven’t wanted to and it is ok to admit it out loud. With all of the stress around me lately, I just plain old have run out of mental energy to stay productive all the time. I have run out of things that I want to clean. I have run out of ways that I want to use to fill my time. I have subconsciously made myself a pact to take a step back, relax and sometimes just be. To my surprise, I realized that this was not necessarily a bad thing! This is just me practicing self-care without realizing it. I am trying to conserve what’s left of my mental energy for when I really need it, not when I am just trying to keep constantly busy. I am trying to rejuvenate and refresh. This is ok! I have to give myself permission for this and I would suggest that you do the same. Stop finding new things to beat yourself up for. A million things do not need to be accomplished every single day. Sometimes there needs to be a day to just breathe. Pummelling ourselves with endless, impossible to finish tasks will not reset or fix the out of control tension going on in the world today. Overscheduling ourselves just to say that we are doing something is actually doing more harm than good. I think we need to relearn how to just sit every now and then. It’s only when we stop moving for a second that we can actually appreciate what we have.
Have a great day everybody!