Delicate Balance

It’s a delicate balance

Being stressed and serotonin free.

It’s a delicate balance

Showing bravery for others and saving some for me.

It’s a delicate balance

Between calm and shutting down

It’s a delicate balance

Remembering to care for yourself when no one’s around.

It’s a delicate balance

Between fight and rest

It’s a delicate balance

Putting me through my greatest test.

Dr. Laura, age 51

The Things They Tell Ya

Boy oh boy. The things they tell ya as a patient. “You just concentrate on getting better.” “Don’t worry. We’ll take care of everything. It will all be ok.” Oh lord nowhere! Stop yourself before ever saying those words! These well-meaning phrases are truly sentimental BS at best. As good as they sound, nothing could really be further from the truth. If only it were that simple! When you are sick, there are many many things to consider besides just getting better. Do doctors hope that by saying that out loud that all other concerns will melt away? Do they think that all of your loved ones and coworkers will magically hear it and step up even more? Do they think that banks will easily forgive leases and loans that you can’t pay?

For me, I am still worried about taking care of my family. I am very fortunate with my home situation, but I worry about who is going to cook when I can’t or how school is going when I don’t have the energy to keep track. I worry about letting my patients down. I worry about my business surviving. I worry at every schedule change and how it inconveniences everybody. I worry about the medical bills. They have already topped 50,000 just in the first two months of this year.

The already potentially daunting task of fighting cancer would still be daunting if the only thing you had to worry about was getting better. It is ten times more so when you add in all the real life factors to the scenario. Here is my turn to wax hypocritical for a minute. Now that I have just completed my complaint streak and pronounced that advice as bogus, I am still not entirely sure that I want doctors to stop sayin it. By far the biggest part of me still thinks it’s a ridiculous statement that is very well-meaning but entirely unhelpful. And yet, sometimes when I hear it, I enjoy my momentary mental trip to fantasy land…wondering what it would be like if it were true. I guess what I am really saying is, at this point, I can appreciate the intention of saying it and we will just leave the factual aspect out of it…lol

Dr. Laura