Just sitting here quietly on Christmas morning, listening to my gentle music Christmas blend, snuggling with my dogs. I am taking a moment to soak it all in. It just dawned on me this is the first Christmas in like three years that I am not either waiting for a terrible health diagnosis or in between cancers. Wow! That just hit me like a soothing wave of calm, mixed with excitement and relaxation in the mundane all at the same time. Yesterday I was doing my regular old last minute Christmas eve grocery shopping and I couldn’t have been happier. The business, the franticness of the other customers didn’t even phase me. I was so frickin happy to be shopping for my family like a normal wife and mother that I think I was practically skipping through the store. I know it sounds silly, but gosh I have been waiting for this feeling for a long time now. I am finally allowing myself to enjoy it, now seven months after discharge from my last hospital stay.
I know I am just really heady right now but I am soaking it up. Everyone deserves this kind of peace, even if just for a moment. Who knows if everything could revert back to unholy crap. Well, maybe it could. That’s how life goes. But, for now, I will just sit here with a smile on my face and let it sink in.
Have a wonderful holiday everyone! Sending many peaceful and joyous vibes.
Dr. Katz