Ok what the heck do I mean by that? Let me explain. As you may or may not know, I have cancer right now. I am choosing to view it as only temporary. Nevertheless, it has kind of taken the reins of my life right now. I have moments of disappointment, anger, sadness, emotional turmoil, helplessness, etc. You name it …..all the bad feelings take turns at a moment’s notice sometimes. I am continuously searching for some kind of recognizable pattern to restore some predictability and order in my life. Needless to say, I have not been successful up until this point and that has only frustrated me more. The good news is that I finally have stopped desperately trying to grasp for routine and started rolling with the punches a bit more and it has actually helped. I finally took a step back and evaluated what actually makes me happy and feel good lately. It took some significant searching at first and then I realized that the answer was right in front of me: Me making the decision to be happy and feel good was the number one thing that helped me be happy and feel good! It sounds ridiculous at first. I get it. What I mean is that the more direct and conscious effort that I make to preserve my mental health gives me the most bang for my buck toward my overall health and well-being. The choices I make to stay happy, productive and help myself and others help me get through the bad times with the chemo and my treatment. I will grant you, there is nothing cheerful or happy running to the bathroom constantly, waiting for who knows what to happen, but when I keep my mind on a goal or something that I am working on or the fact that I WILL get through this, it actually helps a little. I am not implying in any way that the power of positive thinking will erase everything that is going on with my life and my body. I am simply saying that when it comes to choosing between overthinking, wallowing and perseverating on how bad things are versus trying to focus on or accomplish even just one small positive thing in a day, I am going to lean toward the positive. If nothing else, it allows me some small measure of control in a very out of control situation. Have a fantastic night everyone!